I am in an fwb relation now with my friend (25F) and its overall good and satisfying with her, and we are kinda exclusive, but lately I met another girl (23F) who I knew from some time and she was always really hot to me and lately I was on a party with her and she made me damn aroused by just looking at her and also I talked with her for around 3 hours and the talk was great and honest and I’d say she also seemed attracted in me.

Now we are chatting a bit and it goes well, also… yesterday during sex with my FWB i was actually thinking about the other girl, I am so aroused that I can cum just by looking on her photos and imagining sex with her. The other girl also sends me her photos \[not nudes\] and the talk between us starts getting spicy a bit.

I feel the urge to have sex with that girl, but my FWB is exclusive, so how could I approach her to make it work in any way?

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tl;dr I am in exclusive FWB but want to fuck another girl

26 comments

  1. Well, just talk to your FWB about your relationship, that you’d like to not be monogamous anymore.

    But I gotta say, the idea of a monogamous FWB confuses me, that just sounds like a girlfriend

  2. FWB… does not mean committed. Making it exclusive is like saying she’s your GF.

    Hell, see if she wants to join for a threesome…never know.

  5. Just ask her if it’s cool for you to see other people. Despite the other comments, sexual exclusivity *is* a thing, and communication is key. That we have adults on this sub who don’t understand nuance is concerning.

  6. You are either in a monogamous relation or you have a FWB-thing going. In the former case I could see a big problem, in the latter case it’s not even a matter to discuss.

  8. “Hey, I really enjoy our time together, but I’ve recently met someone that I’d like to pursue things with. If you’re open to it, I’d love to keep our thing going, but if you’d prefer that we put this to a halt while I explore things with this other woman I would understand.”

  9. Just communicate that to her. Either she’s fine with it and you can sleep with the other girl, or she’s not and you can sleep with the other girl and break it off with your current FWB.

    Also, I’m seeing so many “exclusive FWB = girlfriend” posts, it’s a little concerning. If you believe all a relationship entails is having sex with someone, that’s a seriously warped view of relationships.

  11. Well, in theory, an FWB relationship, even if exclusive, is exactly this: that you can get out of it pretty easily. So objectively this should not worry you in the slightest.

    But in practice, many long-term FWBs are emotionally entangled relationships where people are just afraid to label it as a proper romantic relationship. If your FWB relationship looks like this, do prepare yourself for a difficult talk.

  12. What the hell is an exclusive fwb, a girlfriend?

    Anyway just be honest.

  13. I usually think of exclusivity as it relates to condoms vs raw. The FWB needs to have informed consent for any raw activities.

    For me, the first step is telling the new girl you have an FWB. You’re kind of into ethical non monogamy territory. If the new girl isn’t okay with ENM then why create potential friction with the FWB.

    On the other hand, a book like Opening Up (ENM) or The Ethical Slut (Poly) might be in good read if you’re not looking for monogamous LTRs any time soon.

  14. I mean it’s probably gonna end it if they want exclusive but if you wanna have sex with the chick just break it off so they can find someone else. Don’t be selfish and string them along.

  15. I think we lose alot of great partners because we think the grass will be greener somewhere elese with someone elese. And that it always true. Please think .

  18. “I want to have sex with someone else”. If you’re not mature enough to have this conversation, you’re not mature enough to have sex with people.

  19. Exclusive FWB sounds strange to me. Talk to gf first before doing anything with other girl.

  21. The whole point of FWB is to allow for exploring with other people too. I assume the exclusive part is to stay free of STDs for condom-less sex? If so, just tell them that you still enjoy sex with them, but want to explore things with this other person. I imagine they will understand, but might insist on condoms in the future.

  22. If you’re exclusive, she’s not just a fwb. I use the term fuck buddy right away when sex starts. If it’s good, before we fuck a 2nd time, I always say, hey this seems like a situation where we might want to be fuck buddies. Would you like that? Sometimes they ask what that means and I say, fuck when it’s convenient for both parties. Yeah, we can grab dinner or watch a movie but we are free to fuck anyone else.

  23. I have a feeling she’s not going to enjoy that but just be straight up about it bc anyways you guys aren’t in an actual relationship

  24. Exclusive is just that. – The two of you established a mutually beneficial arrangement based on select criteria. If you want to have sex with the other girl then you must tell your FWB and give her the choice to open your relationship or end it. But don’t be that guy who wants his cake and eat it too. You must tell her and accept her decision.

  25. Does it matter? I mean she’s just fwb, you’re free otherwise

  26. If yall fwb then the only concern should be taking step to protect each other health. Condoms & testing. If she need mo den dat she ain’t yo fwb, playa

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