I (27f) recently started a job as an activity leader for an English Language school. I’m loving it and focus on being upbeat, confident and clear when talking to the students (most of the time I’m basically like a tour guide and work outside, explaining about the local history and guiding the groups). The students ages range from 14-17.
Although I smile, ask questions and try to connect, I often feel like I lack the charisma the more senior members of staff have. I know I shouldn’t take the eye-rolls and occasional dirty looks to heart (I was a teenager once too!), but I really want to feel more capable and charismatic in this job.
What are your tips for this kind of thing?
1 comment
Well, that kind of cuts to the chase of this sub OP. “How can I have better relationships with others?”
I think you’re right that this largely revolves around charisma. Let me tell you a story about that. Years ago, when I was teaching, I was in a small department. One of my colleagues was one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Was it charisma? That was part of it, but she was just the whole package. When I met her the first time, on my interview trip, I could feel it *immediately.* She was undergoing chemo at that time, and so wore a scarf on her head (and I’m sure she wasn’t up to her usual self) but I will always remember that impression. She had an absolutely amazing presence, and I knew that within the first 30 seconds.
I got the job, and she was exactly like that. She won both of the teaching awards my first year–the one awarded by the rest of the faculty, and the one voted on by students. Nobody had ever done that before. In fact, she withdrew her name from consideration after that, because it would be unfair competition!
Funny thing was, though, that IMO she was only an average teacher. The information organization and presentation was solid, but nothing to write home about, etc., but her amazing popularity more than made up for that.
It was a great experience being around someone like that. I knew I could never be like her, and it bothered me sometimes–and it hurt when students flocked to her and basically ignored me–but I worked hard on my teaching, and I know it was technically excellent. Also there was a smaller group of kids that I really connected with, to the point where I knew I was representing a very positive and important influence in their lives, at an important time.
So if you’re still with me, I would say a couple of things:
1. I think charisma is pretty much “set for life at the factory,” and it’s a very hard thing to improve. We are who we are, pretty much.
2. That said, there were things I could do that centered less around charisma, but that I could build with hard work and by taking advantage of my other strengths. For example, I learned that students didn’t find me very personally interesting/dynamic in the classroom (whatever goes into that, probably related to charisma) but I also learned that I was *very* good at coming up with interesting examples, teaching devices and so on–games, simulations, paradoxes: “That seems kind of weird, doesn’t it? Why do you suppose things are like that?” and so on. So perhaps you could build on some things like that.
3. I think I also just learned to be satisfied with not being the cool teacher. I did my best, but there were a lot of other things that I was good at, and things that went really well.
Hope that helps! Good luck and feel free to DM me if you want.