I (24M) was just asked by a friend (22F) to come over to her place, and heavily implying she is offering sex. I’ve never actually had sex before as I’m not someone people generally want, so I have no experience and anxiety when it comes to sex. I know it’s rude/insulting to reject something like this from a really pretty girl but I just can’t do it. Should I play dumb so as not to insult her, or should I be up front no matter how rude it is. I really like her and I don’t want to lose her as a friend.
5 comments
Are you rejecting her because you don’t want to have sex or because of your anxiety about sex?
No, if you want to keep in your life as a friend then you need to be honest with her or you will hurt her and lose her for good.
It seems like you’re getting in your own way here OP. There’s nothing shameful about being a virgin without experience, with the right person it won’t matter
At some point you need to confront this issue or you will never have sex. The question is do you want it to be this girl that you do it with?
If she’s a friend then maybe you should go for it. She will be understanding. Sex is nerve racking for anyone at the start, but the only way you get past that is by doing it
If you need any practical tips let me know.
Just tell her “not interested in anything but friendship” anyone of any gender is allowed to deny someone sex
First ask yourself this question, what do you *want*?
If you don’t want sex, no is a full sentence and if she is offended by you politely declining the invitation, thats on her. You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you don’t want sex.
If you *do* want to have sex and its your anxiety thats preventing you, tell her. It won’t do anyone any good if you are an anxious wreck. Tell her you totally want her, but its your first time and you don’t know how far you are actually able/willing to go and that you are nervous af. If she gets offended by *that* or doesn’t accept it or makes fun of you, she *is not worth it*