I’ve been single for over a year. I’ve had a few hookups but haven’t actually gone on any dates. My problem is, is that I don’t really want a relationship, but I’m also past the point of random hook ups. I joined a dating app recently. Started talking to a guy. We had great conversation. Met for drinks, and he was one of the nicest guys I’ve ever been out with. I had a great time and a great conversation. We are both single full time parents and had other things in common. But I knew from the minute I saw him I wasn’t into him. Here’s the thing, normally, when that happens, I’ll do the date and ghost. He text me when he got home and said “It was great meeting me and wanted to do it again.” Ghosting just didn’t feel right, he really is a great human. I told him I had a good time too, but I felt no spark and I wasn’t interested in a second date. And I feel awful. I blocked his number before he had a chance to respond because I’m a chicken shit and if he asked me to give him another chance I would have done it and just prolonged the situation. What exactly should I have done?
Two side notes
Not only did I block him, I deleted the whole dating app. I don’t like first dates. And I’m done trying to find someone that is also looking for someone. If it happens it will happen naturally.
More importantly before people say, so you made him take you out and then disappeared, I paid. Because I never let men pay on a first date. I want them to know I’m not a damsel in distress.
5 comments
You could just be honest and tell the truth
Most people can take it. It’s just a date. Doesn’t always work
They won’t stalk you if you just say it was fun, but I don’t see us that way
Jeez Louise just be direct. Don’t ghost, just say you weren’t compatible. Get used to being honest while tactful, it’ll save you discomfort and the other person from getting hurt.
I agree with not letting me pay, or doing something cheap or casual. The problem with men shelling out a lot on a first date is we can’t know, as women-unfortunately, if their intentions are good. We have to be cautious. A good man will recognize that, not that it has to be spoken. Although you can say something like you like a chance to really get to know a guy. An honest guy will hopefully pick up on your own good intentions.
I’m aware…. I was being an asshole your post said “I don’t see us that way”…..
I dont understand why people in general dont just have dates. I mean even if there is no spark just have a nice evening watch one netflix show less so what. Its bad to waste chances and make it unnecesearly complicated. Sometimes we just have a bad week and feel different. But it can chance but this “bridge burning” is bad i think.
So what i’m reading is you don’t want a hookup but you also don’t want a relationship. and you can’t handle dates from the looks of it cause it results in you uninstalling the app. honestly i think you just need to stay single till you feel ready about going for something. or till you figure out what you want. right now there’s a lot of question marks. nothing wrong with being single and taking time to care and work on yourself. there’s a season for everything and i think right now is your single season.