I’m so over dating at this point. It feels like the talking always fades out and the dates never follow through. I don’t understand how these people survive in everyday life. I may not be the best texter, but if it’s the day of our first date, I’d be paying attention to the details of that and communicate if it can’t happen at least.
This guy’s first excuse was that his niece twisted an ankle, so he had to watch the other sibling while his brother and sister in law drove the injured girl to the hospital. Okay, sure. He ignored me for hours before letting me know an hour or two before our date (Thursday). Then fast forward to today. We had minimal chatting earlier, then I texted him asking where and what time for tonight. When we planned our first date for Thursday, we scheduled it for 7:30 pm. So I never even got a time or place this time, and it’s already almost 7:30. I feel fucking straight rage, I’m so mad that someone is willing to waste my time instead of letting me know so I can make other plans. Pisses. Me. Off. And he seemed soooo apologetic that he had to cancel the first time and was practically begging for a second chance.
And I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I’m a cute girl, I’m educated, I’m good at banter, and am just overall easy to get along with. But shit like this makes me feel so bitter.
Has anyone else dealt with this?
25 comments
Sounds like he’s not the one. This is a big red flag anyway. If he won’t respect you before the first date, imagine what y’alls relationship would be like if you continued to pursue him. Consider yourself lucky to have dodged this bullet.
I’ve dealt with this as a guy. It’s pretty fucking annoying to have someone be so happy and ecstatic to meet up and they just ghost the day of. People need to learn how to actually communicate like adults if they’re going to date because it’s beyond pathetic at this point.
Oh yes! In my experience, the guy had an off/on again relationship. I found this out later. When he ghosted me the second time, I knew they were on again.
Unfortunately, you may have been plan B for this guy.
Wow, he is a piece of work. I get the first time, stuff happens, but to have minimal contact after and leave you hanging is BS.
Out of curiosity did you meet him off a dating app? If so maybe he found someone else on there and was keeping his options open only to end up screwing you over.
This sucks, no way around it…keep your head and count your blessing you didn’t invest any more time with him before seeing how he really is.
He’s probably catfishing you
The fact that he didn’t set specific details for the rescheduled date speaks volumes. Huge red flag 🚩. Based off of that alone you can tell he had no intention of actually meeting up. Sorry OP 🙁
Unfortunate reality of OLD is how commonplace this stuff is and isn’t
Honestly baffles me how so many of these people have jobs but at some point just have to realize it’s not personal and I guess this just happens to everyone 😔
text “i am sooooo sooorry for the inconvenience I have caused in wanting to get to know you better. Out of respect for your social calendar and priorities, i have confidently determined that I no longer desire to become acquainted with you. To help you with this disappointment, and so you don’t get distracted from focusing on yourself, i am blocking and deleting you”
People suck unfortunately. Ghosting doesn’t really bother me anymore, but damn getting flaked on/stood up still pisses me off. Eventually I just stopped viewing the people I am dating as “people” but more as “activities” until a couple months in. Then when they ghost/flake it’s just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
Probably seen your itchy armpit! 🤣
he is not interested. Thank you next.
Honestly stuff like this happens. I’d just mark him off the list and move on. I’m sure you have other applicants
Damn didn’t even take you to a nice dinner and never call again. Shit like this makes being single seem worth it and the sad part is women do this just as much as men do. Not everyone is a winner and seems like that dude is the loser.
Hey, seriously wow , I just did a giant post on dating over 30 in a women’s sub with my dating horror stories. I don’t get what’s going on with the men of our generation. You gotta read my last post. I’ve outlined every horrific experience. I just had another one last night. Guy was so handsy. Inappropriate touching me after getting super drunk.
Military officer. I’m prior military myself. I know this culture but really Wtf? I got into the Uber and he tried to stick his tongue down my throat. Then had the audacity to text “ do you not like tongue kissing “ I responded you’re going way too fast. And no shit his response was “ oh good I thought you were gonna say you don’t like it”
Seriously dude?
Red flag award! I know cause I was once that guy. After a bad break up I was hurt so I played those same games. Wasn’t ready for a serious relationship but wanted the attention. Causally dated ( on my end ) and truthfully probably missed out on a couple good women that are now happy. He will get his in time. Move on and find someone that values you for the get
There are idiots in this world.
Try video chatting first. 1. It’s typically easier to schedule and attend a video chat (and if they can’t then obviously you move on) 2. You get a chance to have a live conversation with them and see if there’s any initial connection. 3. it’s way more likely that they will actually show to a date set up after a video chat because they have had a conversation with you, seen you live, presumably enjoyed the interaction and want more of that. 4. If there’s no connection or it’s not a match, you have less time invested/less time wasted. I think it makes things more exciting and enjoyable too! It’s so easy to disconnect, ghost, etc when you’re texting a stranger and for good reason, we haven’t evolved to connect that way. We have to find ways to create connection in online forums. I’ve had video chats where people have showed me their art, musical instruments and home projects. You get a peek into someone’s home, their animals, home decor, etc. people can sometimes be more vulnerable in their home while video chatting. Whether it’s a match or not; that human connection helps make the dating process less frustrating.
How very infuriating.
Anytime someone flakes on a first date, just run. Don’t bother because you’re getting your hopes up for nothing
Yeah. That’s really annoying. I’ve had similar situations happen to me as well. At first, I truly believed the excuses, and then my intuition started to kick in, and I realized he’s full of shit and confirmed he’s full of shit too. He told me he’s too busy to date and two months later is in a relationship. Just tell me you’re not interested instead of wasting my fucking time!!
Block and move on he’s screwing with you
He’s either a huge asshole or has serious anxiety issues.
Every guy ever: “First time?”
Darling, that’s because he’s not the right one. You will start chatting with many wrong ones. When it fades out you know it’s not him, move on to the next.
Yes…guys generally do deal with this all the time, you were probably in his back up/ slow week list and got bumped down once….then bumped out and replaced by new shiny matches