tried to post in relationship advice but it keeps getting auto deleted
So at the start of the year I reconnected with my hs crush, I genuinely thought we hit it off, she was sending me paragraphs and told me she’s ready for a potential relationship. we’ve both never had a relationship for different reasons so I thought maybe we would be perfect for eachother in that sense and she’s always known I’ve liked her.
so we go on our first date at the end of January and it went amazing, we then reschedule a date for Feb 14th. when that day rolled around I couldn’t get a reply from her.
a few weeks prior her phone fell into the pool and she got it fixed so I thought maybe she was having issues with it, she said she was really sorry about being gone for a week and glad I had her number because she didn’t have a login to her socials
throughout the 3 months I’ve maybe sent like 10 messages to her every 2 weeks and I’ve reached out to people we mutually speak to, they say she never replies or I’m the only one with her number, I’ve sent an email snapchat 1 instagram (we dont follow eachother) message and a couple actual text messages
I’ve been worried sick something happened to her or something so maybe that might seem overboard but I was really passionate about us.
so fast forward to today I was on instagram and my friend was graduating I seen that on her post my (crush) liked the post. I’m happy she’s okay but I sorta want to “confront” her about the situation…
I’m not mad but I’m just kinda disappointed, on one hand if something happened to her phone again what if she is scared I might hate her for being gone again and is avoiding “conflict”
on another hand what if I’m dumb enough to think we had a connection and it was on purpose which makes me sick to think about but it’s possible I suppose.
So yeah what do you guys think I should do, I was gonna ask if our mutual friend would mind passing along the message I just want to talk, I really feel like I don’t have any closure.
6 comments
No response is a response. They’ve had plenty of opportunities to reach out but chosen not to. The best thing you can do is block, delete and move on
I am going to be honest, I did not even read the full post. If someone ghosts you, just let them leave and take them out of your life. They don’t want to be there, so they should not be there.
Don’t give her more thought or attention than you already have. It won’t solve anything. It probably won’t make you feel better, and she won’t come back.
You have closure. She ignored your many attempts to talk. She ain’t interested. Move on you are wasting too much time on her. Btw her phone didn’t fall into a pool.
Someone ghosting you is a reflection of them, not of you. Its a sure sign of their lack of respect for you, immaturity, selfishness, and lack of diplomatic creativity. Its also a red flag that they may be a narcissist or sociopath.
If a person can’t maintain the minimum communication exchange frequency standard for getting anything done in this world, then that’s a sign of their unworthiness, not yours. That person has basically proven themselves to be a bad choice as a partner for anything, even friendship.
Truth is you may never know why they blew you off, or get closure. If I’ve learned one thing in my life… if someone really cares about you, they will make time to connect and communicate. Some people care only about themselves, and that is not someone that will end up being a benefit to your life.
I try to be friendly to everyone because you never know who you might end up meeting, working for (or with) in the future, and that will end up a weird situation. I’m a good person and I deserve to be treated well, so I’ve never ghosted anyone out of respect for others. Maybe I’m too kind and considerate though.
I agree with the other comments, OP. If she cared enough then she would not have ghosted. If she had time to like a mutual friend’s post, then she certainly could have found time to respond to you with a quick text after all the effort you made. Even if she isn’t interested in you romantically anymore, a considerate person would tell you that. You don’t need to put up with this type of behavior. You deserve better. I’m sorry that you don’t feel you got the closure that you rightfully deserve. But I just don’t think she’s worth more of your time. As others have said, her behavior IS closure in a sense. You may never know why she did it, but the fact that she did it is enough for you to feel good about dodging a relationship with someone who feels that ghosting is acceptable.
Dont do it. Never give them that comfort that their actions messed with tou that much.