We (48f and 53m) have been married a year. My mom (78f) has begun sending him notes in the mail. In the first one she tells he she was sorry she rejected his dance offer at our wedding but she is shy. But that if he ever asked again she would say yes.
Background for next note: she had mentioned a friend with melanoma and I said in passing my husband had a mole that I’m trying to “convince him to get looked at.” So a couple days later he gets a note in the mail asking him to go to the doctor and if he is scared she will accompany him and hold his hand.
I feel like she is overstepping here. He says it’s sweet. I asked him “if your dad wrote me a note offering to hold my hand, would that seem weird?” He said yes.
Do I allow her to be a thoughtful senior citizen who obviously cares about her family, or do I put an end to her slightly inappropriate pen pal hobby?
2 comments
Once your husband isn’t writing her back, I’d probably try not to make it into a big deal. Yes, it’s weird and inappropriate. He absolutely will need to watch himself when around her.. You probably shouldn’t tell her too much about your husband moving forward.
Is your mom on her own? Does she have a social life, a partner, friends?
To me, it just sounds like she’s concerned and being sweet. My grandmother used to write to me all the time and the content was typically all over the place. I think your mom is expressing her thoughtfulness to your husband and that it’s nothing more than that. I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.