Dating with Herpes

14 comments

1. It is what it is. You have to learn to accept them and hope your partners will too. As bad as it sucks, the majority of the population has them in one shape or form and most people know that. So, it’s not as bad as you think it is. So keep your head up. Be brave and honest. Most people would rather know than be lied to.

2. A lot people have either hsv1 or hsv2 and don’t even realize it. Just keep a look out for when it’s become non-dormant and you should be fine. Honesty is great though, proud of you for being able to tell people, versus others who keep it a secret

3. The chances of passing it on while dormant are very very very slim….

4. Advice: rejection never gets easier, but also you learn to see the situation more clearly for what it is— which is the fact that people are undereducated about herpes, and the fear they have around it is something they’re entitled to, but doesn’t mean it’s strictly rational.

   And, there ARE people who don’t care. Or if they do, will love you enough to get beyond it. And then it becomes something you just don’t think about frequently any more.

5. Buck up, buttercup..you’re gonna be ok. ❤ I had a verry long term relationship with a guy whose Zovirax rx (pill, taken at onset of a breakout and for duration of breakout) and the episodes got further & further apart until..zero outbreaks for decades now.

   I realize it’s not easy and that you’re feeling ashamed, but it’s not the nightmare that you may be thinking.

   I have a good friend who’s a pharmacist, and when we were younger and she was still single, she joked that ‘all the cute guys are on Zovirax..’ So you’re very much not alone. Hang in there and see a doc.

6. I don’t have herpes but my partner of seven years does. I do not care. I love her.

   Like flair ups happen maybe once or twice a year and oh no I can’t kiss her and I have to be careful about sharing drinks.

   It’s not that big of a deal to me.

7. That’s awesome you told your prior partners.

   But wow I would not be as chill as the people you told. I’m an obsessive tester so I’d be properly pissed 😭

8. you are not damaged goods. it’s just that the majority are still very uneducated about sexual viruses, diseases, and infection. if they reject you, it’s one person you don’t have to waste time on. just know that it doesn’t make you any less worthy of love and sex.

9. There are dating sites specifically for those who have this and other stds.

10. What does herpes look like

11. I too have herpes and out of 5 partners I disclosed this to 2 of them told me they have hsv2 too, the other 1 of them has hsv1, only 1 of them rejected me and the other that didn’t have any type of herpes was completely fine with it.

    It’s really more common than you think, most people just don’t know they have it or they don’t disclose it (unfortunately). I don’t get outbreaks but I always disclose and use valacyclovir everyday when I’m seeing someone just to be safe.

    People are uneducated about it and media doesn’t help either with the constant herpes jokes in sitcoms etc.

    Personally it doesn’t affect my life in any way, I’m completely healthy and I was able to have a normal sex life after I discovered I have herpes. You’re not damaged goods <3

12. Just out of curiosity, why haven’t you tried the herpes related dating apps?

13. You aren’t damaged goods. I married my now ex husband knowing he had it. (We divorced for other reasons, not herpes related 😂)
    We dated for 5 years before we got married and he told me very early on. He was petrified. I literally did not care. And actually, I never got it from him. He took medication to manage his breakouts and we were always very safe about it. Herpes did not negatively impact our sex life.

    Hope this helps. If someone is educated about it, and loves you for you, they won’t care 🤍

14. There’s a wonderful podcast called Bodies with a woman who talks about this. The episode is [Something Extra](https://open.spotify.com/episode/6cQRysPIK4e5P6BTBgqUID?si=cV_CvcUXS3mjNtaM5FJa2Q)