Have heard many times of women turned off from dudes who are honest when they say they’re virgins .

39 comments

  1. I mean for a hookup who cares…..

    But for a relationship i mean lies like that WILL come out and then the relationship is over because yeah something build on lies….

    I understand your problem but yeah going into the lying direction is a path that will get you in trouble or will make you a douchebag…….its starts wit one lie and then another and then why not lie about other stuff…

  2. Yes lie. I actually got dumped by my first gf cuz of that. I’m sorry but this is the truth…

  3. I don’t think this is something to lie about because I don’t think it’s an ick. Everyone goes through life differently.
    Are there people who will want nothing to do with you if you’re a virgin? Yeah.
    Are there people who will accept you for you and not your sexual experience? Hell yeah. You want someone who can see the entirety of what you have to offer them.

  7. I would yes and no.

    If you are serious about a girl, then no. Tell her the truth, if she’s the one she will accept it, if she’s not, oh well.

    If you just wanna have sex, see if this fact can hinder your chances. Cause then its whatever, do whatever you can(in the bounds of the law) to get laid.

  9. Depends on your personality, and what you want.

    For some people it would be possible to pull this off, and no women cannot magically detect if you had sex before or not, whatever they want to make you believe here on reddit.

    However chances are, if you are in that situation, oftentimes you will not be the kind of person, that could do this without it being very awkward, and so they will notice.

    Either way if you get to know a woman, give her a chance to like you before you tell her right away, if you got your shot together, they will not even think about something like this

    Or maybe try finding someone online that would be ok with it, might take forever, though.

    Reddit is not really representing the majority of people, most women at a certain age will not give you a chance.

    The problem is when they answer this question they imagine someone they are already highly attracted to, and think they won’t mind.

    I think its ok to lie a bit, but dont overdo it, be vague, say you have not a lot of experience and its been some time.( along those lines)

  10. Suicide is sounding better and better as far as I am concerned. I am so fucking sick of these games women play, because I can guarantee you that they lie more than a guy with no expirence. I say lie about your experience because someone needs to stick it to societys bullshit games.

  11. I had the guy that I dated that was a virgin only tell me after lol. I didn’t mind but was duly impressed by his stamina o.O

  12. It always makes me laugh when people talk about ‘relationship experience’ then you meet a people who have been in an abusive relationships for years. Their only experience doesn’t help them in future relationships. Only that they know red flags and can avoid the wrong people. What people mean is that you’re able to love another person and treat them with respect. But really you don’t need experience for that just the right mentality.

  13. Dont lie. Unless you don’t want the relationship to last.

    Relationships are built on trust ffs

  14. To all the people saying that virgins will be bad in bed. That’s not necessarily true. My first time, I had the theory down and so much pent-up energy that I could go many, many rounds in a row. She was someone that came via penetration and had an extremely good time. I did not mention I was a virgin.

  15. People will tell you not to lie because a good partner will get it or conversely that women are bad because they make all these evil assumptions.

    Neither are true. Regardless of the gender, a decent percentage of good people will absolutely find that odd.

    I wouldn’t get into specifics or make up a serous relationship. I’d just say you weren’t trying to just have random hookups but kept your relationships casual (in a mutually agreed way) during your early 20s because of work, school, etc.

    It’s a white lie that you should never confess if you tell it though. And no one is a bad person for screening out a 24 year old with no relationships. Not having any is likely not any real negative reflection on you, but there’s a decent subset of people who don’t have them because they do things that make it impossible—which is why it’s considered a red flag.

  17. Most comments are saying don’t lie but I want to add that there are women who will consider this a desirable thing about you. I know for me personally I’m not interested in relationships with men who have been extremely promiscuous. I was nervous trying to do online dating after having only been in one long abusive relationship. When I found out my bf hadn’t had sex before it was a huge relief. I felt like I wouldn’t be compared to anyone else and it wouldn’t matter how bad or good I was because we could figure things out together.

    I feel like this is uncommon to find the older you get but I know our shared lack of experience in sex and relationships is something I value highly in my bf. I love that he never went through a string of meaningless casual sex. It makes me feel all the more special that despite the fact he could have done it countless times before meeting me, he didn’t. I like that he takes being physical seriously and it means to me that he takes me and our relationship seriously.

    Just wanted to share. I’d suggest finding a girl who is similarly inexperienced. She’ll likely feel more comfortable with you

  18. So I don’t lie about sex but I do lie about dating. I really only had 1 serious relationship and several more FWB type things. I usually tell them I have had a few relationships.

  20. I think you should just be honest. Only say something if they ask. If not, don’t tell on yourself.

  21. Yes. People lie about their past all the time in dating. Don’t be the sucker that doesn’t.

    ​

    Other people are saying that if they find out they will break up with you – so? First, the odds of them finding out are very slim. Second, if they do find out and break up with you, your problem is still solved. You won’t have to lie again because now you do have relationship experience.

  22. I’m 39 and never been in a real relationship or had a girlfriend every person I tell that runs like I’m the plague and yet all of you seem to say that that’s a desirable trait but in real practice it seems to not be the truth I don’t know what to believe really. I know I really don’t like lying so I never do but I’m still single so what am I supposed to do now

  24. Yes. A majority of people you meet will lie about themselves in one way or another. Make up is lying, is it not? Just say you’ve had sex and move on.

  25. There are some who say all lying is bad. Always tell the truth, blah blah blah.

    Then there are those, like me, who believe lying in and of itself isn’t inherently a bad thing. Almost nothing is ever black-and-white.

    This is one of those instances where lying is ok.

    Look at it kinda like lying on your resume about experience.

    You need experience to get a job… but in order to get a job, you need experience.

    Or in some places, you need a license to get a car to drive. But in order to *get* that car so you can drive, you need a license. Anyway.

    For the first time or two, you can lie about your relationship experiences in the past. If you’ve ever read a book that involved relationships between characters, or watching a movie or TV show, or even in real life: if you’ve observed a good, healthy relationship between two people, then you *technically* have “relationship experience” enough to qualify. After your first two *firsthand* experiences, then you have enough personal experience to stand on your own without relying on external sources of experience.

    Please note that anyone turned off from a lack of relationship experience is not a relationship worth pursuing–that relationship is *more than likely* going to have an expiration date on it.

  26. I’d just be honest, but only if I know that we’re going def have sex. You don’t want to lie on your dick and be whack asf. If you don’t have the experience, who cares? If she wants you, she’s gonna want you regardless. I know guys who have had experience and they still fucking suck lmao. So just be honest and just be yourself. You got this bro!!!

  29. Not at all. Just because people have been in relationships, doesn’t mean that they were GOOD at them. I mean, they’re single again, right? There’s a 50/50 shot that they were the problem. So no, it’s not a turnoff. Some females, including myself would be intrigued at being a guy’s first relationship attempt.

  30. If you haven’t lied on your resume are you even trying to get the job bro?

  32. I wouldn’t lie about it but don’t necessarily bring it up. Will a lot of women be scared away.. yeah but that’s just the price you pay for not trying hard enough at a younger age.

  33. Don’t lie. Deflect. “A gentleman does not kiss and tell.” Once you are safely in a relationship, you can afford to be more candid. Slowly, and gradually.

  35. No, you shouldn’t lie about it! I’ll take someone who’s never been in a relationship versus a mf who is broken/damaged from past relationships. It’s not that big a deal

  36. Listen to me bro, do not tell a girl you are inexperienced. They don’t want you if you’ve never had a girlfriend even if you could get one (you just have chosen not to so far). No matter how rich and attractive you are, if you say you’ve never had a relationship… you will not succeed. Lie to them.

  38. I read a girl on here say she doesn’t like the truth in this case. To just lie to her because it’s a turn off. I see opinions from all sorts of angles.

  39. My boyfriend was a virgin in his mid 20s but didn’t tell me until like 8 months into the relationship. And even then it was because I outright asked.

    Would I have gotten the ick had I known? I hope not but who knows. Did it bother me that he lied? Not at all it was a pretty funny conversation when it came to light.

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