For the mentality disabled, how do you tend to find a gf or ask the love of your dreams out?

6 comments

1. i’ve given up all hope on that if i’m being honest

2. Would love to help honestly, am diagnosed ADHD and I suspect I’m also on the spectrum but I wouldn’t consider myself disabled per say, more like a learning disability. I’m not sure if any advice I could give would help with your situation specifically because I don’t know how debilitating it is.

   But my relationship advice for men regardless of who I’m talking too has always been:

   If you want to meet someone you’ll be compatible with, meet someone doing something you’re already interested in at least then you’re starting from a common starting point plus people with similar personality traits will group together naturally into similar tasks.

   Weight training. I know people say that you should be ok with your appearance and body positivity and blah blah blah. But my observed truth has been that women are simply more attracted to men who are muscular, they just are. Now there’s a lot of variation in muscular, like a bulky bear type, or a lean runner type. But my observed opinion is that women are attracted to men who strength train, they like big muscles.

   And you don’t need to be too fancy about it or spend a lot of money. I have put on a bunch of muscle by simply filling a backpack with some weight, then putting on a movie/show and just picking it up and putting it down. It really is as simple as that. Honestly it only took me about 3 days before I started feeling results and it feels powerful. I don’t sit there and count everything out in my head I just pick stuff up and put it down until I’m tired, then I change to a different muscle group and carry on. You start to get addicted to that powerful feeling and it feels good to level up when you realize the weight you were doing is too light and you have to add more. It really is addicting. But always lift safely, be nice to your joints and back.

   One asterix to the above is do NOT assume that you are entitled to a relationship with a person just because you have been working out. Bigger muscles merely increases your chances with a person who likes big muscles, it does NOT entitle you to a sexual relationship with someone. Don’t act like a douche just because you got big =P

   And to me it doesn’t matter what your motivation is to do it as long as you’re doing it, people keep saying “oh you need to work out for yourself, or you need to work out to become better” no, if you want to work out so you can get girls fine, if you just want to look good during sex fine, if you’re doing it because you’re bored FINE. Doesn’t matter what motivation you have as long as you do it.

   And my last piece of advice sounds corny but be yourself. There’s a habit whenever we meet new people to try to be what you think is a better version of yourself so people will like you. But for one thing this is starting a relationship on a lie which is not a good footing to start a relationship on, second it’s unsustainable, eventually your real self will shine through and the person your with will probably feel confused by it. Third, if someone doesn’t like who you are then do you really want to be in a relationship with them to begin with?

   Keep in mind that dating is a test but it’s also a test for her as much as it is for you. You’re both testing the waters to see if you’re compatible with a person. And even if you haven’t dated someone for 20 years, you need to be prepared to say “Eh we just don’t work out, we don’t have the same vibe” and to be able to step away from it. And the best way to know if a girl is interested in you is whether or not she expresses interest in spending more time with you. And since everyone’s different this can take many forms. But if she starts making excuses to be near you then you know she’s into you but you need to be clear about your intent as far as romance vs friendship. Again, honesty is important.

   But yeah I hope some of that helps.

3. If the other person is also on the spectrum then that helps a lot.

4. I don’t, I need To priorities myself over any other person.

5. I’m autistic and I have completely given up. It’s not going to happen. Even autistic women don’t want autistic men.

6. I was fortunate enough to meet my partner while in college, even though at the time I didn’t know I have autism. It’s been many years of learning not only to communicate properly, but also understanding how to love another human being.