So to cut a long story short, sex has never really been for me. A mixture of insecurities, vaginismus and borderline asexuality (still questioning). I am on meds which probably have a hand in it but even before I was on anything it wasn’t for me. BUT. I did always masturbate. Maybe every 2 or 3 days.
Recently, it’s got much further apart and I don’t know why. I want to want to do it, but I just don’t. I watch different types of porn etc to see if anything gets me going but nothing.
I have also started seeing someone and whilst she’s very patient, I want to be able to do more with her, but my libidos just at an all time low. I hate it. I don’t know why this is happening.
2 comments
Of course there’s nothing wrong with being asexual, but I wouldn’t completely discount regaining your libido until you try working on the vaginismus and maybe switching meds. I have pelvic floor dysfunction, which is similar to vaginismus but not quite the same, and when my muscles spasm it can cause pain externally too – not just with penetration. You didn’t mention wanting to experiment with things that wouldn’t cause you pain.
I get this way when I am really depressed? That’s not very helpful though, so I suggest maybe cuddling & building physical comfort with being touched intimately but not sexually, with the option to potentially consider sexual intimacy if and only yall want to. I sometimes perform oral sex as a form of sexual intimacy when I personally do not want to be touched. I don’t know if that is helpful but I wish you the best