I’ve (m27) been on a few dates with this girl (f30) so far and they have hands-down been the best dates I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve dated a lot, but no one has made me laugh this much with such a similar sense of humor.
Physically, her face is gorgeous, but her body is a little bit thicker than why I am used to or prefer. I really don’t mind and I still think she is beautiful. Although when it comes to time in the bedroom, I struggle with staying excited in the moment. I feel myself going soft and I don’t want her to feel like I’m not attracted because I am.
This has caused a weird dynamic in the relationship and I’m starting to feel some distance. I have this anxiety because messages are getting shorter and fewer between. What should I do to increase the sexual chemistry and abandon my shallower preferences?
I don’t want to love this woman but she may leave if she doesn’t feel sexually wanted. My heart says one thing and my penis says the other.
7 comments
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You can’t force sexual attraction. It doesn’t work and only hurts them in the long run.
You probably need more communication with her. . .in the bedroom that is. I find couples with boring sex lives sell themselves short. Instead of being okay with the bland thing you have going with her you should spice things up. On the surface level a lot of people are just plain with the sexual chemistry. Step out of your comfort zone and tell her the things that turn you on and vice versa. Why not try adventurous things like outdoors in a secluded area as one example. Or even on the couch while watching a kinky movie. I find picking outfits for her is usually something that helps a lot too but let her get involved so its something you guys both enjoy too
> I don’t want to love this woman
Worst typo ever. But is it true?
Look, don’t blame your dick for this. This is entirely your brain’s fault.
You have a gorgeous woman who makes you laugh like crazy but she’s “a little bit thicker” so that’s a turn off? Give me a break. This has nothing to do with her body. Maybe you’re scared how much you click with her so you’re looking to sabotage this. Or maybe you’re just scared period so you’re wilting. No matter who you date her weight is going to go up and down in her lifetime just like yours will because that’s reality for the vast majority of humans and it’s not something that tanks relationships.
Figure out what’s going on in your mind and then your dick will start working (unless there’s another reason for your dick to be failing but I’m assuming you’d have mentioned being on meds, having health issues, or masturbating with death grip or having a porn addiction).
It’s not fair to either of you to continue this. You’re not attracted to her, that’s fine. But she deserves someone who is.
Are you fapping a lot? Are you stressed?
Cut that shit out and watch the difference.
If you are truly amazed by this girl , you should be able to perform.
Try to imagine yourself 5 years from now if you dump her. Would you be okay? If yes, go ahead and dump her.
However, if you think you’ll really miss her….maybe try talking to her?
Pop a pill or two, maybe?