everyone i talk to just disappears a week or two later, is it because i don’t message first? Do i *have* to? Is it bad if they’re always the ones texting first? If this is an obvious question then i’m sorry i’ve never had healthy relationships or friendships and i find it uncomfortable to start conversations
And this goes to friends and “boys” that i talk to
2 comments
well, you don’t always have to text your friends first… but if i’m the one always having to text someone first then that’s when i notice that we might not be sharing the same efforts. i don’t like having to text my friends first all the time because then it just seems like i’m bothering them, especially if they show no efforts to text me first. it just makes it seem like i’m the only one that wants to talk to them.
are they really your friends if you find it uncomfortable to start conversations with them? conversations with friends should feel effortless. not forced or uncomfortable
Did you ever attempt to genuinely connect with people in real life ? Genuinely connect with people in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what they say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.