My girlfriend was complaining about something about herself and I made an incredibly stupid joke and immediately regretted it. It was just the first stupid thing that I thought of and thought maybe trying to make a joke would lighten the mood.
However I did not think this through, I could tell it hurt her but she got over it quickly enough but did make it clear that it was really insensitive.
I’m not sure what to do next I keep thinking about how I messed up and while everything seems fine I am worried it is still bothering her but if I just keep apologizing for it it’ll only be a reminder of what was said?
Do I let it go? Do I get a gift to tell her I’m sorry? Should I just keep complimenting her to try and make her feel better?
12 comments
Getting a gift or complimenting somebody isn’t gonna fix problems in your relationship. If you think shes still bothered by it, then bring it up and apologize. If you think shes moved on from it, then dont
What did you say. That color makes you look like a blueberry, your fat belly doesn’t fit in the car. There is a lot you can say and get away with and things you can’t say to someone you want to see again it matters.
Ok…
101 you screwed up. Not the first and wont br thr last. Apologize.
Buy some flowers. Assuming its nice out, pack a good lunch and take her for a picnic. Write her a lvoe letter and csrd. remind her you appreciate and find her attractive.
I made a comment about my partners car once. She was upset so I power washed it, 2 bucket washed it, polished with a polisher and waxed it. 5 hours later she forgot about what 8 even said since her car was glossy af
Make a sincere and heartfelt apology. Just make damn sure it is a good and HONEST one.
If she accepts it, good! If not, then you need to accept that and take whatever comes next. Up to and including her breaking up with you.
Regardless take it like a man and if she leaves you, dont make a scene or get mad about it. In the end it is your fault.
You have to do something deeply sincere because words really stick with women. You lacked context on exactly what was said, so I can’t give you much more detail, but definitely write her a letter, take her on a date, sit her down and apologize sincerely.
Let it go and move on. Try not to be an ass the next time. Just be yourself and don’t go out of your way to do anything except for being supportive and caring.
Everyone makes mistakes at one point in their lives. The difference is that you learn from them and try not to repeat them.
Pff she will get over it. If we can’t laugh at ourselves wtf are we even doing.
You should apologize again and explain that it wasn’t your intention. Also explain how bad you felt about hurting her feelings and it wasn’t your attention all. Let her know that you make stupid jokes with your guy friends/siblings, but that didn’t make it right for her.
Then ask if there is anything else you can do to make up for it.
And if she accepts your apology and says everything is fine than let it go. And then work on making sure she isn’t the target of your mean jokes.
(My friends and I are brutal to each other so I totally get it. )
If you bring it up to apologize again, it could serve as a reminder. If she’s acting like she’s past it, then she’s probably past it. Compliments won’t hurt though. A gift is also a good idea. Keep joking with her, but maybe don’t cut as deep next time. You’ll be fine.
It depends on what you said. And on the personality of your gf. But if you see that it still hurts her, i would ooenly talk to her about it. Gifts and tons of compliments could look fake or that you make even more fun of her. Maybe a nice romantic date and a sincere apology. Tell her how you feel and how it came that you said that.
for me when my partners used to screw up I would end up rolling my eyes at their shitty apologies, I knew in the long run they would just do it again and the apology was just lip service to shut me up.
You need to be sincere, you need to tell her why what you said was bad and make a very conscious effort to never do it again. every one has foot-in-mouth moments, it’s what you do after that separates you and shows who you are.
there are some really wonderful ideas already, a love letter detailing all the things you love and appreciate about her. A special outing or an action that shows your mean it. but be forewarned, if what you said was really heinous, it will take time for her to really get over it, and the only way she can do that is by you showing good behaviour, not the temporary placating “get back to my bad habits in a week” kind. but the genuine “I did you dirty and I am SO sorry” kind
Well what did you say? You can’t make a post like this and not say.