Eye contact is vital when conversing as it shows attentiveness and interest in what’s being said. Eye contact is similar to a conversation; an exchange of words back and forth between individuals who are engaging in a discussion or a chat. Additionally, eye contact will have people perceive you to be more confident and intelligent, being able to better remember your face, would likely remember what you said and would be more likely to believe what you’re saying.
However, don’t stare! Staring can create a sense of uneasiness for both the speaker and the listener. And to those who are often shy in making eye contact, in some cases that’s a sign of SAD, social anxiety disorder, where you might feel like the other person may be scrutinising you, which makes you feel nervous and self-conscious. That’s completely fine, don’t worry!
Here are some tips to help you better yourself when making eye contact.
**Deep breaths.**
Overrated yes. But it can help to calm your nerves down if you feel overwhelmed as it slows your heart rate down.
**Start with eye contact when you speak.**
Sounds simple enough but not many people do it. Doing so let’s the other person know that you’re here to converse with them, not to find someone just to talk to.
**50/70 rule.**
Make eye contact 50% of the time you’re speaking and 70% of the time you’re listening.
**Hold your gaze for 4-5 seconds.**
4-5 seconds is about as long as it takes to recognise someone’s eye colour. Break your eye contact and glance to the side before resuming your gaze.
**Look away slowly.**
When shifting your gaze, do it slowly as too fast may make people see you as shy or it might make other people think that you’re uncomfortable.
**The triangle.**
Imagine a inverted triangle connecting both eyes and their mouth. Every 4-5 seconds, shift your gaze from one point to the other. Do not look down as it will signify nervousness and a lack of confidence.
**Make gestures when talking.**
Standing still with your arms by your side is very unnatural and stiff. By incorporating your arms while speaking, not only does it make the conversation more natural. You can use your gestures to break eye contact for a short moment.
**Tackling with groups.**
Maintain the tips above but when you finish a sentence, you can move on to the other person’s eyes and then the next etc. This helps to make everyone feel included and you’re making your life easier by not having to jump looking from person to person rapidly.
**Look near the eyes.**
Ultimately if it’s still too much for you to directly look at their eyes. You can always look in between their eyes, above the nose. To them, it’ll look like you’re making eye contact even when you’re not.
That’s it! I hope you can benefit from this and hopefully become better at maintaining eye contact throughout your daily interactions!
Edit: Missing words and grammars