So a typical man Is someone who doesn’t share his emotions, is focused and doesn’t dwell on his mistakes. You see I’m the opposite of that I share what I feel, I’m focused but temporarily and I’m always thinking of what I’ve could’ve done instead of just moving on. I personally feel these traits wil only bring me down. So I want to change, I wanna be more cold/carefree. Do you have any tips how I can train/improve these traits?
4 comments
Hmmmm you might want to go back to the drawing board, like, I don’t really agree with your description of a typical man,
I think the way you described yourself is closer to typical,
But what I recommend is maybe trying to find some books to read, especially books that encourage you to be the best version of yourself instead of fitting into a mold
I like Nathaniel Branden’s pillars of self esteem, for example
There’s nothing wrong with sharing how you feel. It just depends on how you do it. If you’re always sharing negative emotions or are “over-emotional” then, yeah, people aren’t going to want to be around you.
As for the other stuff, in order to improve your focus try spending less time on your phone, on social media, etc., really anything that’s nothing but a series of constant distractions. And work on stopping the negative, self-criticizing thoughts and start practicing self-compassion instead.
Well it’s a good start to realize how/who you are and what you want to change, where you wanna get! So well done on that. Now I would say don’t suppress who you are (yet) but find a way to not let it impact who you wanna be. In other words, find a way to express all that stuff that is feelings,emotions and all that through writing or specific friends that make you feel ok to share all that or even talking group or a therapist even. And then it should be easier to try and develop the other skills and let go. Finally don’t worry about what is a typical man but try to be comfortable in yourself. The norm is relative anyway isn’t it?
Your description of the “typical man” is one of 100 years ago. It’s okay if you want to change your traits but please stop saying that your current traits are not one of a typical man. And don’t try to change just because you think a man shouldn’t be like that.