Keep in mind this is aimed at all genders
So like im a woman, i dont eat a lollipop/banana in public nor do i go alone on the subway /train at night (feel like most can relate to this)
I don‘t look ppl in the eyes either in public regardless of gender, just keep my head down and continue on my path or listen to music (like 99% of the time)
I always pretend im busy with something when im sitting
I out this under culture as its about social behavior, hope thats right.
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I might just be paranoid but i haven‘t had many uncomfortable moments with strangers so🤷🏿♀️
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Interact with children that aren’t mine or my friends.
Unless that kid is in real, immediate danger, it’s on its own. I’ve read too many horror stories of men being accused of terrible things, even arrested, just for being friendly with kids.
Nothing I do whatever I want
Not being alone outside at night is definitely a major one.
cant vent or cry/get emotional about anything no matter how hard things are because people will either not know what to do or think youre weird since youre a dude. At work though i couldnt help it and was crying at the register whilst scanning all the items and whatnot it was extremely awkwardly silent and i got more than a few stares from the people shopping in the aisles. i wasnt wailing or anything but i noticely had tears running down my cheek and was sniffling.
As a guy there aren’t many things that I’d refuse to do solely because of my gender. Starting around my mid-late 20s I stopped caring about always trying to act like society’s idea of a “manly” man all the time. Life’s a lot better now
Go topless. Eat bananas and lollipops – yeah good point on that.
That’s about it. I chose to live in the South largely because strangers are friendly and acknowledge one another in public. So I make eye contact. I also take MARTA alone at night sometimes.
I can’t think of anything I refuse to do, but as a tall man in his 50s, I try not to seem like a threat. Like, I don’t follow solo women too closely on the street. Or stare at them at the gym. And I don’t take a big interest in children.
Although I see kids riding on the train sometimes that will want to play peekaboo between the seats or that wave, and I’ve never had a problem with smiling or waving at them. Just keep it brief and casual.
Like other dudes have mentioned in here, it’s basically anything that might be misconstrued as having creepy intentions. I’m a pretty jovial person, but one has to be careful around kids and young women. It’s way too easy to make people nervous, and with perfectly good reason. The answers I’ve seen from women to this is question and similar are generally safety concerns, and I don’t want anything to do with making someone feel that way. Me expressing my friendliness is less important than someone else feeling safe.
I just keep my head down, ignore everyone else, and only talk to someone if I need to. I’m also on the bigger side, so I have to be constantly aware of how much space I am taking up in any setting.
+ Wear a hat indoors, or while eating.
+ Assume or imply the other person will pick up the bill.
+ Maybe this one is less about my gender, but ever use a misogynistic slur — they hit a lot different coming from a man, especially a larger man, which I am.
+ Follow closely behind a stranger while walking.
+ Sit next to a female stranger on public transit.
I can’t imagine refusing to eat certain things or look people in the eye because of my gender.
As a woman the only thing I refuse to do in public because of my gender would be like, going topless.
I’d offer that many of your behaviors don’t seem gender related, but self confidence related. Not looking people in the eyes? I know many women who look people in the eyes. Or don’t try to act busy for fear that someone will interact with them. What you are describing is more social anxiety.
For gender, your example of subway riding is apt. It’s safety related. Conversely, I avoid situations where I make others concerned about their safety. I don’t walk behind solo women at night.
I’m a middle aged guy and I can’t really think of anything?
If I want a drink that some dude thinks is girly, I will girl it up.
I try to not open my purse when walking home, or make it obvious I’m looking at my phone for directions. I don’t want to see distracted or like I’m not from the area.
I don’t express dissatisfaction with any type of service even if the service was bad because I don’t want to be viewed as a Karen (or since I’m black whatever stereotypical name people give to black Karens).
I’d probably give skirts a try if it were socially acceptable. Seems like an option that would be pretty great to have in the Florida summer. As it is the benefits don’t outweigh the downsides.
I don’t want women to feel like I’m ogling them, so I don’t really look them in the eye unless they speak to me. Am I overthinking it? Most definitely, but I don’t want people to think I’m a creep.
Not going out at night
I am now old and a no-longer-hot, woman. It’s freed up a lot of situations.
I used to have to avoid eye contact, saying hi, or chatting with guys as they thought I was hitting on them.
I can walk down the street without getting cat called, and I don’t feel self-conscious anymore not wearing a bra.
Shit like just going to a supermarket is easy. I am now invisible.
Wear tank tops. I’m a larger guy and I’m very self-conscious about pit stank
Get an erection
I’m a woman. I try to avoid walking alone at night, and only ever use earbuds or headphones while in controlled environments (home, the gym) because I need to be able to hear someone catcalling or following me on foot or in their car (which, unfortunately, has happened more than once).
As a woman my head is constantly on a swivel. I’m checking people who walk by me, cars parked along the side of street in case someone is sitting in or hiding behind one, the houses or business I pass, etc. I live in NYC so this is especially pertinent but even when I’m traveling elsewhere I do this.
And I am wary of men who are approach me and act too friendly or try to hit on me. I never engage with men who come up to me and hit on me because I never fully trust they won’t try to grab me or attack me or follow me or whatever if the convo doesn’t go their way – this has happened to me in the past and I am hyper vigilant now.
Even when I have headphones on the volume is low so I can hear if someone is walking behind me. I will cross the street to avoid someone or something that looks sketchy I don’t care if it appears obvious and rude.
My pepper spray comes with me everywhere even when I travel – I put it in with my makeup and hasnt been caught yet. 🙏🏽
The one thing you SHOULDN’T do is hold your head down in public. If you stand up straight and look people in the eye, they’re LESS likely to approach you. By keeping your head down, you’re transmitting that you’re docile and non-threatening. It’s predatory instinct. Humans are animals.
I don’t go outside alone at night. It always terrifies me.
Sprinting at a woman at midnight as a joke
As a Man I refuse to do it cause I’ll get pepper sprayed
Be outside alone, especially at night.
Interact with men I don’t know. I am fluent in several languages, so I will speak in a different language to pretend like I can’t understand what a man is saying to me.
Walk my dog or go running with headphones in.
Take anything off of my windshield until I am home.
Get out of my car until the garage door is fully closed.
Go anywhere without a weapon.
Answer the door (unless I know someone is coming over).
Leave a building without having my keys in hand (and yes, usually with the keys between my knuckles) because I don’t ever rummage through my purse for something if I am outside.
I am a woman in my early 30s. I survived a very violent SA in my early 20s and I will never, ever let my guard down again.
In the United States, going topless/nudity.
Currently in france and went completely nude at a beach today for the first time. It was very fun and it didn’t feel werid at all.
I’m a 20s female.
I’m a guy and I don’t let my gaze rest on a woman if I’m staring into space
I refuse to try to write my name in the snow with pee. My name is pretty long, it doesn’t snow here, and I am a woman.
Wear pajamas. Nobody needs to see me in pajamas.
Nothing. Getting old sucks but one superpower is great, not giving a shit about what people think. I used to refuse to hold my wife’s purse but now have no problem putting it over my shoulder and dancing around in a dress.
I’m careful not to walk too closely behind women who are alone, particularly at night. Because I’m big and scary looking (though mostly harmless.)
Well let’s just say that for the most part, no one with a penis should wear thin/tight pants out in public.
Oh wow. I take subway alone at night. I walk my dogs after 11pm most nights. I never thought it was bad to eat lollipops in public. I do that too.
What I don’t do? Spend too much time holding still in a hardware store. People will insist on telling me what I need.