I’m not a people pleaser in the traditional sense but I seem to place an enormous amount of pressure on myself to be witty and interesting in conversation, and this unsurprisingly backfires whilst making the whole process much less enjoyable. Meanwhile it seems that most others just come as they are and go with the flow, whilst I try to make sure that what I’m saying is funny and profound etc otherwise I can’t really justify bothering to say it.
You would think that being aware of this issue would allow me to address it but unfortunately it’s not proving very easy – I guess my ego and self image is weaved into it.
Can any of you guys relate?
3 comments
I feel like this was me at one point and honestly it was exhausting. It came to a point where I looked at others and thought to myself “you’re not special enough for me to try hard to get you to like me” lol. Just take a deep breath and relax. I know you want people to like you otherwise you wouldn’t be doing this, but it honestly doesn’t matter if they like you or not just be genuine. If you’re not naturally witty or funny in conversations that’s ok it’s not a big deal just be yourself. You might be surprised that you’re actually funny without trying…but I mean idk
You’ve already realized the cause: that’s your ego rearing its ugly head trying to command cred. Instead try to act like you have more than enough already and you’re just there to give back, so be generous and self-deprecating, and make someone else the star.
> I guess my ego and self image is weaved into it.
There’s your answer. We’ve all been there before at least once. The urge to be liked and favoured by your peers that you force this unnatural persona upon yourself. This rabbit hole will only go deeper as you keep subconsciously wondering what people think of you as a person that you slowly lose your real self.
It took me 2 years to get over it and thought to myself *“Why am I trying so hard when I don’t even like them?”.* And I rewired myself slowly and naturally became my real self who attracted and bonded with similar people. It takes time and patience to get to the point where you don’t care what people think. What matters is what *you* think.