My husband (34) and I (29) have been married for 8 years, when we started dating it was wonderful and we used to party a lot, then he got a job offer in another country and we moved and got married in that country, but I started to notice the drinking was the same for him being in the house or at a party (10 cans of beer) and then he started to drink almost daily the same amount of alcohol (yes, he became an alcoholic), this has not affected his job, but I feel extremely sad when I get home from work and he is sitting on the couch drinking his 3rd beer, we just bought a house and the agreement was that he will pay the monthly house payment and i will pay for the services and extras, however, he started to say that he wants me to pay half of the monthly payment because he is running out of money, I pay all the services (water, HOA, electricity, insurance plus the cars and he makes more money than I) and when I suggested he should stop buying 15 cans of beer everyday, he went crazy and started to tell me he has done a lot for me and the drinking is his way to relax and if I do not like it i have to leave because at the end of the day he is paying the mortgage. And I don’t know what to do, I have no family or friends in this country and he makes me feel I am unfair and exaggerating.
5 comments
Your husband is an alcoholic. He can choose to get help or not. You can choose if you want to continue to be married to an alcoholic.
Buy a one way ticket home.
You should separate from him. Allow him to see what he is doing to himself, and what the financial costs are for his folly.
Drinking 10-15 beers a day? He is absolutely an alcoholic and he needs professional help. Like he may need medical help; if he quit cold turkey he would likely have serious withdrawals.
He is showing you with his words and actions that drinking is his priority even more than making sure you are safe.
If I was in your situation I would go back to where I have a support network/friends/family, then start figuring out from there how I would move forward.