A few weeks ago I upgraded my wife’s phone, and my insecurities got the better of me (my ex-wife cheated on me, and was texting the guy under my nose).
Well I saw where she went on some dates for about a month when we first started dating. We were long distance
We both said I Love you very early on, and I would get texts from her where she told me she was madly in love with me, and that she knows I am the only guy for her.
But I saw she went on a few dates with a guy and they kissed. She would tell me she was watching a movie or charging her phone when she went on of the dates.
I do want to add, this was only 3-4 weeks into us dating. She also had very bad experiences with men that she tried to date that would hurt her, so I’m sure even thought she said she loved me, there was some self protection on her part to see if I was going to hurt her.
She knows i went through her phone because i confessed, but I didn’t bring this up, because I didn’t want to hurt her or make her feel like she has to explain. She has come a long way and her faith and love for God is amazing. The only problem is the messages of knowing she went on dates and kissing him play over and over in my head. I feel dumb because it was only a month or less into us dating, and she even told the guy she was falling in love with me and stopped seeing him.
Edit: this was 5 years ago and we have been married for 4
5 comments
I know it’s easier said than done, but let it go. This anxiety and doubt is living rent free in your head and eroding the reality of your good and solid marriage. I
t’s in the past and if you want your marriage to survive and thrive, you need to find a way to reconcile with what you know and put it on the mental back shelf where it belongs.
Let it go. All of it. Forever.
That was back when you barely even knew each other.
I think you have to tell her.
I think this is a very worrying sign. She has proved that she is capable of deceiving and betraying a partner – even if “in a small way”, but from small to big is just one step.
No matter what you decide, no matter how you are advised to “let it go,” you will never forget her behavior. Alas, this is our psyche.
I think you should confront her, otherwise it will only get worse for you. If you want to save your marriage, you both need to sort all things out and be extremely honest with each other.
By the way, the love for God has never stopped anyone from cheating on a partner, and there are many confirmations of this on the Internet.
It’s gonna gnaw away at you until you do