Would you date a woman who’s saving herself for marriage? Why not?

38 comments

  4. No – how do you know you will be compatible in that regard? Find out after marriage and then get divorced?

  5. Nope. Sexual compatibility is too important to wait and find out about after we’re already married.

  6. Well maybe yes!!

    Who knows if she is saving herself for me!

    It all depends on how good we click…

  7. Probably not, because honestly I wouldn’t want to abstain from sex for years (dating + engagement). I personally think people over sell the analogy of test driving a car. First and foremost, the road is littered with dudes who thought they bought a Ferrari and ended up with a Pinto that doesn’t run 7-years down the road. Secondly, if the foundation – leading up to marriage – is strong then you’ll both learn. People act like they’re born good at sex – it’s an acquired skill and as long as both care then they’ll do what they can in the bedroom.

  8. I’m 54 that’s and I’d have one hell of a time knocking the cobwebs off of that pussy

  9. No because often that’s an indicator that she brings a lot of religious baggage to the table.

  12. Nope. Sexual chemistry is a massive factor on whether we’re compatible for me

  14. The simple fact that she would use the verb “to save” herself proves that we are deeply incompatible.

  15. Likely not. Why? Because it’s a unhealthy way to live. I would very much want to know if we were sexually compatible to start with. Kids who are taught this, especially in the fundamentalist type of households are usually in a rush to get married just for this reason.

    Next, a lot of women raised in such environments report a lot of problems even having sex. This is because sex outside of marriage is so stigmatized, they associate it w/ nothing but negative thoughts. You can’t paint sex in such demeaning ways and expect her to be flip her thoughts about it like a lightswitch on her wedding day.

    One more point is that women raised in these environments are basically told that their entire worth as a woman is directly tied to her hymen being intact on her wedding night. It was for this reason Elizabeth Smart never tried to escape her captors. He sexually assaulted her and as such, she believed that she was now “damaged goods”. In an interview, she stated that she truly believed no man would ever marry her now and even her own family would cast her away.

    I can go on but that’s the jist of it. To be clear, if a woman wants to wait until marriage, that’s fine and she has that right.

  16. After 20yrs with a uncommunicative starfish, not on your life, never.. hell no!

    Edited for clarity – speaking as a 45yo divorced man maybe thinking about looking for someone again.

  18. Yes. I did. Waited 3 years. Been married for over 30. Knowing the person you want to be with is more important than knowing their vagina.

  22. Sure, why not? I don’t particularly care about sex anyway. Have it, don’t have it. Whatever.

  23. Asking this because I’m genuinely confused rn. I always heard men say that they look down on women who have had sex with other men because they’re “sluts”. The comments are saying that they’d never date a woman who is waiting til marriage, though. So… What do I do? Lol I’m so lost rn.

  24. I saved myself for marriage and so were most of the women I dated. That said, while my wife had decided in the year before we met that she wouldn’t have sex again before being married, she was not a virgin like I was. We both ended up having the same view about sex being something that is best kept between a married couple, we just came to that conclusion through different paths.

  26. I would. I respect anyone boundaries when it comes to sex. Although it is an important part of a relationship, some people have different stand points an point of views. Whether it be from personnel or religious stand point, i think its important to look at a person as whole. Its important to respect ones boundaries especially when it comes to the time to give yourself to one another.

  27. If the man fell in love with this woman and she is his best friend, the sex would have to be good cause it’s their souls entwining. Not just a physical act.

  30. Yes. Did that. Married her.

    To do otherwise, to force her to go against her beliefs, desires and what she is comfortable with , would result her spiritual and possibly psychological harm later in life. Why harm a gentle soul and heart if you truly care for and love the person.

  32. My husband and I saved ourselves before marriage. It wasn’t so great the first couple times, but after that, it got amazing! 😀
    I think people forget that chemistry is something that can and does grow stronger as time goes by. That’s if the two people truly love and care for each other and they actually communicate, the chemistry and connection grows. I’m almost 6 weeks postpartum and I can’t wait to jump that man. haha

  33. Yes. I dated and married one. It’s take strong will to do that. Sex life is great even after 8 years and 2 kids. There was attraction and love from the start. I respected her wish to wait for her faith. I wasn’t very religious but I knew it was very important for her.

  34. im gonna get downvoted ik this, but yes i would since even im a guy saving it for a marriage/committed relationship(i would do it even if its b4 marriage but if its committed relationship) im not saving it cuz im religious(tho my religion says its better to stay so) but i have personal reasons too especially taking notice of the place im from and how people involving in relationships cant deal with the breakup of a relationship especially one which involved sex.

    Edit : oooo upvotes? didnt expect but thanks for respecting my opinion, yall are best.

  35. Yes – sex is important, but if I found the right girl and she wanted to wait, I would respect that.

    I don’t understand how the Reddit consensus is that there are 10,000 types of sex that people enjoy, and most people aren’t compatible sexually even if they are compatible on every other level. If you love each other, it would take an absurdly rare specific kink or high/low libido for the actual quality of sex to be so bad that it is a deal breaker in a relationship.

    It makes me think people saying that you need to have sex first to see if you are compatible are likely very young and immature. Oh, you’re not into reverse-cowgirl-cuckold-fisting? Not right for me! Like how specific do people want a partner? And if someone is really bad at sex, if you love them, you should communicate that and improve together

  36. I did. And married her 5 years later. It’s not like nothing happened in those 5 years. It was honestly really nice. I knew for a fact I wasn’t getting cheated on. It’s something I don’t think I’ll ever have to worry about and I can’t tell you how nice that is. There was no worry of having a child that we couldn’t care for. In the beginning if you would have told me I would have dated somebody who was saving themselves for marriage I would have laughed at you. I wouldn’t do it any other way now though.

  37. I swing the other way but I still wanted to answer this.

    I would. I like sex. A lot, actually. But what I REALLY like is a connection between me and someone else. As a gay man, finding sex is easy, but finding a person who cares about you and trusts you and wants the best for you? Good luck.

    I’d stay abstinent if it meant meeting “the one”. That’s just me, of course, but that’s my take.

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