I am an extrovert. 100%. As soon as I feel comfortable around some people I can spend literally 24/7 with them.
If I don’t speak a day with someone I feel really weird and lonely and I get brain fog.
The problem is: I’ve been born into a introverted family with severe mental illness. I’ve been isolated (involuntary) almost all my childhood. I wasn’t allowed to visit/invite friends and doing sports as a kid.
In Highschool it got better because I worked in gastronomy.
After school I got into a toxic relationship and got isolated again. I was insecure and he used to tell me that I talk to much/smile to much/ flirt too much and that I have the wrong friends/like the wrong people.
I did not participate in college at all and developed severe mental health issues.
I got extremely dependent on my ex. He was extremely extroverted and made it his job. A musician. I envied him so much for his large friend group.
I became convinced that I can’t talk to people and might be a depressed introvert.
All my life revolved around him.
He dumped me right before the pandemic, I lost my job and finally had no one anymore.
For 1,5 years I isolated with my mentally sick family again and almost killed myself.
Now I work in my first job, moved to a new city and everyone does HO and I need to work alone.
I can’t do it anymore. Everyone thinks I am weird. Of course I am. All my life experience made me weird.
All I want is a new chance in developing my social skills and find some friends.
Can anyone relate?
What should I do?
I think about looking for a highly extroverted career abroad.
3 comments
Talking to several people on social media or something doesn’t help with this atleast a bit?
Maybe try meeting people online? I just joined a 3D printing group because that’s a new hobby of mine. Anyways I wish you the best
Learn how to Genuinely connect with people in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what they say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.