Long story short, my wife is usually really clean with her vaginal health, recently I got a fishy smell for the first time, so I brushed it off, she asked me to go down but I just couldn’t because of the smell and the little lick I got it tasted extremely bitter, probably she was having a bad day so I ignored it. But last night it was unbelievable and the worst it’s been I stopped kinda let it slide but the next day I asked her about it, she jumped to me accusing her of cheating. I did some research and some of the symptoms matched bacterial vaginosis she found the Google search on my laptop and thought I was going to accuse her but I didn’t, right now things with us are kinda rough so I have a feeling that she may have cheated.
And yes I know reddit “leave her”
Can’t do that right now, but I can spend some time by my uncle away from her till we could work out something.
33 comments
This is in no way evidence of cheating. She needs to go to her OBGYN and get tested, it’s a medical concern, and can be caused by a number of things.
If you think she is cheating, that’s something to address separately.
Just express to her your concerns about her health because she’s not at her “baseline”. If she goes on again about the cheating I’d definitely be suspicious because if my partner told me I had an odor that is definitely not the first thing I’d say to him.
Odd that she jumped straight to cheating without you mentioning it. That smell is no indication of cheating and she needs to see a doctor.
Yeah she really needs to see a doctor and get some treatment. I’m sure you’ve seen from your research that BV isn’t an STI and was not the result of cheating, tho I can see why her reaction has made you conserned. Maybe approach her with WebMD up and go through it with her?
Ok. As a woman, literally ANYTHING can trigger bacterial vaginosis. Not using condoms. Using different condoms. Using different lube. Having sex when both you and her have not showered yet that day. Using a new kind of body soap too close to the vagina. Fingering her with dirty hands. Ejaculating inside her. Smoking cigarettes. Using a previously used sex toy without properly cleaning it (yes, even reusing YOUR OWN sex toy can do this). Even something as simple as no longer taking a daily probiotic. Anything that causes a change in the number and types of bacteria in the vagina can cause bacterial vaginosis. Women are also typically VERY defensive about having developed this condition, because honestly? Most are embarrassed and ashamed at the idea of having what you describe as a fishy vagina. Most never even find out WHY they developed bacterial vaginosis. She may have cheated, sure. But maybe she’s upset that you seem to be drawing your own conclusions and fears you pulling away. You asking to spend time apart then making pointed comments about the smell of her vagina? Lots of women would immediately assume that you are hinting she cheated. My point here, is if she’s never given you any other hard evidence to suspect cheating, maybe wait and speak to a doctor before getting upset. If there is physical evidence of cheating such as text messages or images of her with another lover, then focus on that evidence because it’s a much more reliable source.
Also, please get the bacterial vaginosis theory confirmed by a doctor. Some women smell “fishy” randomly due to hormone fluctuations or any number of other causes. Other women can taste bitter or smell acidic at different points in their cycle for the same sort of reasons. You both may be making a major argument out of a simple hormone level issue or something biological.
Honestly, as a woman, I’m still surprised by how many things can throw off the pH balance of a vagina. Cum, menstrual blood, if she’s on any other drugs at the moment, clothing with regards to sweating or temperature, etc. It feels really counterintuitive to biology and also really fucking unfair, and my ob-gyn would be constantly prescribing me suppositories or telling me to take probiotics (not the cheap kind, either; the refrigerated kind in health food stores that are like $35 a bottle). I started using boric acid suppositories (ONLY FOR SUPPOSITORY, DO NOT SWALLOW) whenever things seemed a little off, and they have been a lifesaver. I use them a couple of times per week and I have for years.
I know it sucks to tell someone, especially a partner, that their smell is off or not great. I realise I don’t know you or her, but based on this post I don’t think she cheated. Vaginal pH is basically thrown off by a strong gust of the wind.
It’s odd that she was so defensive about cheating. That’s a bit of a concern. But other that, it’s really normal for things to get out of whack for no apparent reason.
It could be due to you cumming in her ? , unless you use condoms then I would worry . She has BV something definitely caused her PH to get BV . The infection also can be from you if she’s being loyal
BV, like thrush, can develop without sex…this does not mean she has cheated. Its easily treatable.
Her reaction re: cheating is VERY strange at her age for this issue(BV). Be careful, hate to say it but it could be projection or guilt.
I got BV from taking daily bubble baths. It messes up the ph in your vag. I wouldn’t jump to cheating so fast!
How are you both that age and so uneducated?
This isn’t evidence of cheating but her reaction and other behaviors are red flags.
Not trying to be contrary here but it seems that YOU are in fact the one projecting and she seems defensive because YOU want it to seem that way. You insinuated that she cheated even if you didn’t say it outright. You clearly have some trust issues with your wife and I think that a mediator/counsellor is the only way you will BOTH be able to come at this from a calm and rational point of view. I’m sorry for the situation but I think some introspection is required on both of your parts. Good luck!
How did you even start the conversation and how did you ask? You didn’t share that info. The way you framed your inquiry could be leading, hence her response of not cheating. This could also be just your way of validating your assumptions since you mentioned things are rough at the minute. Fishy smell could be anything, it’s really unfair to jump ahead to cheating and also just staying away from her until things gets better isn’t something a trusting partner would think of immediately doing. Why not be supportive and tell her you’re going with her to see a doctor etc.
Her freaking out for this makes me more suspicious
I agree with all the women saying how easy it is to get bv. 110% and it doesn’t mean she cheated. But her automatically saying you were accusing her of cheating is a red flag to me. Did you accuse her or did she come out and say that on her own?
Can confirm literally anything can cause this. Change in soap, stress, sweating, lord you can look at some girls funny and they get BV.
Some cases require meds, other times your body will sort itself out. Honestly though it’s not a sign she’s cheating, but just that her PH is off for whatever reason.
I would be more worried about her jumping straight to “you think I’m cheating” than the smell itself … but that’s for another subreddit
I wouldn’t have jumped to the cheating conclusion if she hadn’t reacted so aggressively. The lady doth protest too much.
It doesn’t have to be that, as others have pointed out pH is thrown off SO easily. Her reaction and defensiveness are very suspicious to me though.
I had bv as a teen, before I ever had sex. I’ve had it as an adult having the same partner for 7 years. Bv doesn’t mean cheating. A million things can throw off our vagina ph
> right now things with us are kinda rough so I have a feeling that she may have cheated.
If your guy yells you it has happened, it likely has, see a good therapist to help you two through this rough part of life.
What has bacterial vaginosis got to do with cheating?
BV is not a sexually transmitted infection. It isn’t proof of cheating. It’s a disruption of good and bad bacteria in the vagina.
Things that can disrupt the vaginal flora? Sex. Your semen. The germs on your finger. The germs from your tongue. Detergent. Bathing products. Menstruation. Illness.
Women absolutely drew the evolutionary short straw. We are designed to have babies yet the very act of sex can cause urinary tract infections, bacterial vaginosis and more.
Your girlfriend should see her doctor for a vaginal culture. BV can actually be diagnosed by odor. And then we take a swab and look for “clue cells” under a microscope.
TLDR; this is normal stuff when it comes with sex and vaginas. Educate yourself so you aren’t accusing her of cheating when your own body could’ve caused this.
BV, yeast infections, and PID can be caused through sex with someone else… but are also normal things that just happen. More smell or changes in smell could be from normal hormonal changes, spotting or low flow period, your leftovers from last time, changes in her diet, changes in your diet, allergy to a new soap or laundry detergent, cervical cancer, new medications, pregnancy, iud getting older and needs be to be replaced… I once developed an allergy to a partner I’d been with for a few years. Don’t be too hasty with the judgement. If you’re worried, get yourself tested and talk to a medical professional. But if you can’t be a safe space for your partner if she’s having a potential health concern you’re just going to make her afraid to confide in you.
>recently I got a fishy smell for the first time
This could literally be anything.
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>*she jumped to me accusing her of cheating*
Now this is the part that worries me.
This is a weird post.
As you’ve been told, BV is caused by so, so many things, and cheating is way down at the bottom of the list. Virgins can get it.
Maybe she blew up at you because you were on the internet looking things up about her vagina instead of just saying, “hey hon, something seems a bit off. I’m concerned, and maybe you need to go to the doctor.”
You list all these reasons why she can’t have gotten BV, but maybe her work changed toilet papers, or her hormones are off. Maybe the planets aligned.
I don’t know why you’re okay with her going out at 1am for drinks – are bars even open then? – that seems weird to me. But before you blow up your family over a really, really common vaginal infection, you should get some proof.
Her proposing cheating would make me suspicious of cheating not a smell.
OP, usually when someone immediately
Jumps to cheating whether it’s the cheater or cheated on, it’s because that’s what they are doing. So I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s cheating.
Her having BV isn’t in itself evidence that she cheated. BV can be caused by a whole bunch of things. Her jumping immediately to thinking that you mentioning a change to her taste/smell is an accusation of her cheating is a reason to take pause though. It may be worth investigating why she made that particular leap.
I’m going to play devil’s advocate here and say maybe she jumped to that assumption of being accused of cheating because she saw the search history and SO MANY web sites point out BV as resulting from cheating/having multiple sex partners.
I told my husband I had BV once and after “research” he immediately jumped to the conclusion that I must have been cheating because that’s what he saw as the “most common cause” of BV. It was the first/only (so far! Hopefully) time I had BV so it must not have been anything else since “nothing else was new/different.”. If it hadnt been for a Google search, it would have been fine. No different than having a yeast infection (which, apparently is understandable).
And maybe with “things being rough” she’s a little more sensitive. Not saying that it’s not possible that she cheated….just giving a different perspective.
The facts that *she* jumped to cheating is giving Freudian slip so maybe hire a PI for that and get an STD test but the smell can be fixed if it’s new, it could be BV, thrush or anything else. And could very well just be random, it doesn’t have to be cheating
BV is not a sign of cheating, the wind blowing the wrong direction can cause BV 🤣 but her immediate jumping around and defensiveness is not a good sign.