I’m not proud to say I seldom have great sex experience, and my sexist mind thinks that men only cared for their own pleasure.
I’m genuinely shocked that there are men who really do care about satisfying their partners, and get discouraged and apologetic whenever they fail to satisfy them.
I’m doing my best to cure my mind of being sexist by asking the most basic (and probably stupid) question.
Also, I’m insecure. I stop myself from dripping or c*mming because I have this intrusive thought that my partner is secretly disgusted in my bodily fluid and pretends he doesn’t mind to not hurt my feelings. So I want to see the men’s perspective.
If my post is offensive, I apologize in advance. That isn’t my intention.
31 comments
Great sex is about bonding with another person through pleasure, not just getting yourself off.
A guy who really cares about you will care about your pleasure as well. Seeing you turned on and getting you to an orgasm SHOULD be the thing they care about most during sex.
I love to see my partner getting off, it’s insanely hot. I actually just can enjoy sex if she’s clearly enjoying it, so if she’s not in the mood but still willing to have sex, I prefer not to
Now, about the body fluids: imo, the wetter the better! I love to get my mouth in a soaked pussy, and also love when I’m hitting it and she’s dripping. Her pleasure is what drives me crazy
Not offensive!
Checklist:
-> partner’s pleasure: amazing. Often better than my own.
-> partner’s body, fluids included: literally heaven
I would struggle to be satisfied with sex that was only good for me. In some relationships this can actually be a problem if one partner doesn’t care as much about *receiving* but the other is very intent on *giving*.
“hey look, I did that!!”
Maybe that’s one of the simplest sentences that runs through my head. Especially when I leave my partner a sloppy mess on the bed and they can’t move anymore, that’s job well done. Muhahaha.
Not that orgasm is the end goal of course, focusing on the journey there is just as much fun… Being sensual and intimate (or rough AF) can help create a mood where both parties feel open being themselves. That’s the best part, where you are you during the whole messy and comedic scenario haha.
Having open communication haloes alot especially if you have body image issues or dripping đź’¦ everywhere. TBH that’s actually a turn on, it would likely show your partner that you’re interested and want to have sex….
Just my opinion
For me, when my partner gets really excited, it’s the biggest turn on. In fact, it’s very hard for me to just late back while she gives me a blowjob. I need have my hands or mouth on her, and the more she gets excited, the more I do.
As far as bodily fluids go, I also love it when she gets so turned on, her pussy starts to drip with grool. I guess its what I am really into.
Because there is nothing better in this world than carrying a woman to orgasm. And seeing the things women do when they are absolutely turned on, its just mindblowing. Sex is for women, not men, we get orgasm too quickly and sex becomes lame when women dont enjoy it. I had sex once with a prostitute- my worst fuck, she didnt like it, absolutely faked it and thats a major turn off. And what you think is wrong- pussy juice is just great, I only found taste of grool as odd, most guys absolutely love tasting juices.
I enjoy making my wife getting pleasure then letting her try to pleasure me. It gives me a sense of achievement, pride and oh yeah …a massive hard on watching her move her body in anticipation of where my finger and mouth will go next.
It’s really exciting and satisfying.
Early in our marriage, I casually mentioned how much I enjoyed the way her large breasts move under her shirt when she doesn’t wear a bra around the house. She was surprised and embarrassed that I notice — in her mind, breasts are mostly fat, and “seeing fat jiggle is embarrassing”. I reassured her that she was wrong.
So, please understand that your worries about partners being disgusted by your “bodily fluids” is wrong. Most hetero men are turned on by it.
As for my partner’s orgasms — in the most basic terms, I
* love my wife and want her to enjoy our sex life
* know that if she’s having regular orgasms, she’s excited and eager for sex
* know that her enthusiasm means I’m “doing it right”, and it’s a feedback into my own orgasms
Are there men who only care about their own orgasm? Sure. Avoid them.
My wife and I are both “pleasers”. We get off on getting each other off.
I’m sorry that you’ve only experienced these Neanderthals that are selfish lovers. My wife’s pleasure is my goal. She does the same for me. This doesn’t always mean that I give while she takes, or vice versa. We please each other, in both giving and receiving. Going down on her and lapping up her pussy juice, feeling her orgasm on my tongue, is very pleasing to both of us. I wake up most mornings craving the taste and experience of going down on her.
Find the right lover, give yourself over to them, allow them full access to enjoy your body to the fullest. By holding back, you are depriving both you and your lover. Yes, there are plenty of us men that thrive on pleasing our women.
im a virgin but nothing is hotter that seeing a woman actually enjoying herself and orgasming, it’s a shame It’s so hard to find in porn
Seeing my partner satisfied makes my orgasm so much better and rewarding. Plus through my insecurities, if I’m pleasing my partner and satisfying all their needs, I feel like they’re more likely to be honest and loyal. Plus I don’t want to be a lazy lay lol.
Her orgasms are more fun. I mean, I love mine, but they’re for the end of the night. She can have multiple so that’s what she gets. Besides, the new Zelda isn’t out until tomorrow.
Sex is always a two way where both mutually enjoy the process. Basically men could reach orgasm very easily. Obviously I take the responsibility to make sure she gets to the orgasm with me. Therefore it would be perfect when each other takes responsibility of eachothers orgasm. No-one will get disappointed and sex would be great.
I believe it’s a sense of accomplishment too.
My 1st goal when being with a woman is to make her cum. I’m not worried about me. I love to satisfy. My satisfaction comes 2nd.
Sex for me is about the pleasure i can bring not the pleasure i receive. Personally id happily give and not receive oral. As for fluids yes please i will happily have someone squirt in my face i love it.
I think it’s just a view society took don’t get me wrong it is apparent with some men. Can’t speak for all but I think (hope) that 50/50 cares and doesn’t.
Maybe it’s a traditional thought, back in the day men were known as bread winners, man of the house, big brave men that didn’t care much.
Same as traditionally women were housewives, both traditional lives have changed drastically for the better.
Sex is incomplete unless both parties get off IMO (assuming all things being balanced)
Not a man but for me sex isn’t just about orgasm, and orgasm isn’t the end goal either.
The goal is mutual pleasure and enjoyment. The entire process should be fun and enjoyable. Everyone should be having a good time stimulating each other, being close, feeling each other, letting that critical part of their brain fade and being in the moment with their partner.
To just be trying to get each other off and have that be the only determining factor sounds little more than masturbation with extra steps. If you have partners that are treating you that way then it sounds like they don’t really care about you or your pleasure. And the way you keep putting yourself down makes me think you are a bit of a people pleaser who is hiding their true feelings in order to be liked by another person.
That you are devaluing yourself to have these experiences, not in a more sex equals less valuable way (that is sexist crap) but in a “I don’t fully vibe with this person and they don’t seem to be putting the same energy into me that I am into them but if I keep trying then maybe they’ll see my effort and put more in themselves.
You need to voice your wants and find people who respect them. Find a person who shows they care about you as a person first, it doesn’t even have to be romantic. And work on your self esteem, being a people pleaser isn’t the same thing as being a courteous person. Also men aren’t a monolith any more than women are, try and uncover what you may be doing that you keep having encounters with these kinds of guys.
Not many men get intimate and emotional bonding when outside of a loving/ sexual relationship. Hell, even physical bonding would be nice. This is partially why people say, “men always want sex.” No, but we do often times seek emotional connection/ validation through physicality because that’s what we grow up learning. The whole it’s okay to hug a bro or fight and make up” stigmas. This can come from the physical act of sex. Getting our partner off means we did a good job. They will enjoy themself and (hopefully) come back to us for more. Now, we have a cycle of emotional / physical expression. And with a loving partner who comes to *us* for it, we now have validation. Every future occurrence of this will continue to lead us back to this loop of emotional support/ bonding combined with validation of feeling wanted/ liked combined with physical intimacy that we just don’t get in everyday life, or from strangers.
Next time your man wants to jump your bones, even if you aren’t in the mood for sex, throw some support his way via words, a hug, a gesture. Shut him down cold over and over, and internally, his emotions may shut down even more.
Im a Pleasure Dom so giving my partner orgasms is absolutely my number one goal during sex. I prefer doing through oral and digital stimulation. In the past I had a partner whos legs shook which was amazing, but Im lucky to have someone who cums quickly and easily now – plus shes a squirter which ive never had…I honestly thought they were a myth!
For me its watching their face, hearing the sounds coming from their mouth and feeling whats happening with their bodies. Its truly the best part of sex for me.
SOME of us are pleasers. There will always be assholes but for me I treat my girl like a queen in every aspect. And in return I hope she treats me with such respect too.
(M32) My partner getting pleased is the whole idea in my opinion! I know I can get myself off no problem, getting them there and beyond brings about a different level of overall pleasure and bond that’s amazing.
It’s similar to why we as humans enjoy things more together. Movies, games, activities, all are better when everyone is having fun if you’re not a selfish, oblivious ass. Sex is better when everyone has a good time. I can’t enjoy myself if I know that the other person isn’t having fun. It’s intimate sure, but it’s also about good vibes and mutual happiness. When I make my partner orgasm, I feel like a good lover and a competent sexual partner and that’s better than getting off.
It usually makes me even harder
For me, I absolutely love sex and all the great feelings involved. So, being able to do that for my partner is amazing, fluids and all. Feeling my wife’s body convulse and twitch from an orgasm I gave her is one of my favorite things in this world. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that there are sometimes that I don’t even care if I come because I enjoy getting her off just as much if not more.
Usually, I will make her come before we have sex when she wants it. Sometimes she’s rather just make it quick so we can get to bed. But when she’s in the mood, it’s on. I’ll start with a massage and then let my hands roam below. If she’ll let me go down on her I’ll do that and usually get a toy involved as well. Makes for some great sec afterwards too.
Monkey please mate, mate stay. Monkey happy
Ungaboonga: CaveMan Brain Know CaveMan Did CaveMan Job!!
1. Your post is not offensive
2. Your bodily fluids are not disgusting (yum yum)
3. A lot of men do really feel good about satisfying their partners because
i) It genuinely does come from an altruistic place. We love to see our other half having great and fulfilled sex.
ii) (A little more selfishly) It helps the chap feel better in an “I helped do that” sort of way. Positive reinforcement. It’s a good thing. ✊🤓
The more fluids, sounds, flinches, twists, turns etc she does the better. There is nothing sexier than pleasing her IF she also reciprocates, IMO at least.
I will say this; with my exs I got less enjoyment from pleasing though, I still did but just less. I am absolutely head over heels for my girlfriend now and I lose my mind when she orgasms