I’ve been hooking up with this guy for nine months now. I think we are actually friends or at least he’s called me that before. The last time I saw him was at the end of March. He told me he was laid off from work, and that his mom has cancer, and that he’s helping to see about her. When he was leaving, he hugged me, and he touched my backside, and said see you later. I wonder if that means he actually wants to see me again. I know he’s going through a lot right now.
We’ve gone a couple of months without seeing each other people. But how long do you think is too long to go without seeing someone you’ve been hooking up with?
Also, I do talk to other men.
10 comments
Until you start missing him.
the point of a fwb interaction is that you are not accountable for anything. He probably sleeps with other women, and you should sleep with other guys too
There is no way you are having sex with this guy. You keep posting about it which says a lot about your insecurities.
You need to have the talk with him. You are falling for him. If he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, fine, but then you have to break it off indefinitely.
Maybe just call to talk and be a friend. Keep that door open
I totally get it, the frustration of being away from someone you’ve been intimate with can be tough. It sounds like your guy is dealing with some heavy stuff like job loss and his mom’s illness. It’s great that you’re showing understanding and compassion during this challenging time.
Now, when it comes to determining the ideal duration to go without seeing each other, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. It really depends on what works for you both and the dynamics of your relationship. If you’re itching to see him or feeling uncertain, it’s important to have an open conversation and express your needs and concerns.
By the way, just like sand shifting with the tides, it’s perfectly natural to talk to other men and explore your options. Keeping an open mind is important for your own fulfillment. Just make sure to be transparent with everyone involved to avoid misunderstandings.
Does he message or call you I think he is making excuses as to why he can’t see you personally. I think you’re wasting your time on him.
I think it depends. My guy has been going through it recently and we did go 4 weeks without seeing each other. BUT we talk every single day. So we stay connected
You’re just FWB and have no obligations to each other. He has other priorities than you for the time being. You served a short term purpose for his needs. He’ll get to you when he gets to you. If you don’t like this dynamic and he isn’t communicating with you then move on.
OP, it sounds like the guy you see casually is a FWB without a particular schedule. It also sounds as though he has some issues in his personal life. Every FWB and relationship have their own boundaries and dynamics, you know the relationship you two have. If you feel it is acceptable to message him, by all means contact him and ask how he’s doing and it can lead to when you will get together again.
You stated you are talking with other guys, are these talks physical, if not you may want to consider a new physical relationship (FWB) in addition or to replace the guy who is temporarily not available. You shouldn’t have to wait any longer to have certain needs met.