There was a time when I traveled in Europe pretty intensively but I rarely post where I go / what I did on instagram because I just didn’t want to bother what to post. There are people who looks thinks I don’t have a life / don’t have much going on when I actually do….how do I approach this?
I used to not care at all but recently I think this might be crucial for my image presented to others.
24 comments
i used to be the same but recently i found out that its pretty neat to share your interests and hobbies online with friends,
but yeah some people really care about social media presence and stuff which i never understood
Firstly, how old are you? It would make sense that you would be in your teens considering that having social media = to having a life in most cases I’ve seen.
Secondly, it’s good that you don’t trouble yourself thinking of what to post. You were travelling and you should’ve enjoyed yourself rather than thinking of what people thought of you. And not having a social media presence doesn’t mean you don’t exist or don’t have any life. It’s a preference.
Lastly, you don’t have to approach it in any way unless you’re always conscious of what other perceive you as. Which I’ll let you in on something. It doesn’t matter what they think!
It’s true there’s a portion of people who won’t want to be friends with you if you’re not active on social media. But it’s up to you if you want to accommodate those type of attitudes. I’ve always found that to be very close-minded, and I’ve had better luck with people who don’t care that I don’t use social media
If you are traveling, working, buying nice/expensive, or even working out just for things to post- you are probably doing them for the wrong reasons!
I recently went on a 3+ month solo trip out West and barely posted a single thing. You know why? Because I did it for ME and not for THEM. When it did come time for me sharing my experiences instead of sharing online for hollow engagement, I talked with those in my life that actually cared and were genuinely interested in my experiences. Real love >>> fake likes
When it’s all said and done all you will have are your experiences and those you shared them with. Do you really want to look back and see that the majority of your decisions in life were centered around what other people think rather than what you truly wanted to do??
The problem here is that you are “caring” about what others think of you… Stop doing this! The sad truth is that most people on social media are more worried about what people think about them than vice versa. Social media feeds into this frenzy of being “popular”. Do I care what a distant friend from high school ate for dinner last night? God I hope not and if I do I should really find something better to do with my time!
A better question to ask is did YOU have a good time in Europe? And are these memories stored securely in your hippocampus? Perfect! That is all you need. I get a lot of flack sometimes by family members saying, “You don’t take enough pictures!”. I respond by saying I would rather enjoy the moment and put the “picture” in my own memory rather than futzing with my phone camera and then actually missing the moment! I am not a journalist recording someone else’s life.
I purposely don’t have social media for this reason, well and the fact everything I see is people living a internet life to make themself look cool. Half the time they don’t even look like their photos.
I don’t have the apps and nor would I post my life. You will become more interesting to people when you don’t post your life.
I go away in adventure holidays as often as I can, and I am that busy enjoying myself I rarely take photos or have time to reply to anyone.
Focus on yourself and enjoy your self. Don’t get wrapped into this virtual life.
The right people will not have a problem with it. I personally prefer people who aren’t big into social media, they seem more laid back and genuine
I’m 25 and can’t bring myself to give a shit about contributing to “irl” social media. I use Instagram for sports and memes at this point. I haven’t posted in over 4 years. Anyone who judges me for it can get fucked tbh lol what a weird thing to care about
Who cares about all this? Live your life. Fuck social media.
Yes. It’s time you learn how to create a social media presence and maintain it without getting addicted to it. It’s a skill and it will help you. Occasionally post yourself doing real life activities, whether it be your skills, hobbies, or talents. People love to see those things. It’s also a good way to network with other like minded people.
Just don’t worry about what people think-problem solved.
I felt like this for a long time. It changed after I got divorced. People talk-a lot. Especially my ex’s family. It started out as not wanting my ex in my business, but after months of no posting on social media, I realized I just don’t care anymore. Maybe everyone assumes I don’t have a life, or maybe they assume I’m having too much of a great time to have time to post on social media. Anyone who really matters can ask me, or at the very least get some new from my parents or something.
Forget about that kind of people, seriously, social media is so overwhelming and does more stress than actual social connection. You don’t need to delete your accounts neither, but look for people who can actually engage in conversations and are open for real life interactions rather than being ‘active’ on social media. Yes those people seems to be fewer than the hooked up to post their every single moment online, but that is also biased because those people also don’t post everything they do so you’ll feel like “they don’t exist”, of course, online.
Having people like that in your circle will make you actually know them for what they are rather than for what they show or try to be online, also giving you opportunities for being present in those moments.
Social media is a cancer and I actively avoid people who put too much stock into it
I use my social media account for personal pictures and talking to my mom who lives in another country and that’s it. I don’t put friends on there or anything. I don’t like the hassle/drama it can cause.
I prefer real life friends or in game friends in a online video game and that’s pretty much it. Emails is fine too or a chat box but social media accounts (like fb/instragram or online profiles about my entire life) are a huge no for me.
I went through the same thing during my gap year travelling abroad. When people I didn’t like or care about asked me why I wasn’t posting more about where I was, I’d simply go “Don’t have time for this, but it’s stunning, trust me, you should come and see for yourself!”
Short answer? Some people just love gossiping and/or living vicariously through others.
Longer answer : Some people’s lives entirely revolve around social media because they truly have nothing going for themselves in real life, so, this fantasy world where people care about their inconsequential, trivial posts feels better than real life. And they imagine that everyone must feel this way since THEY do…so it probably hurts when they realise others don’t need to post ten stories a day to exist and be happy. There is something to be said about the way people equate POSTING with happiness, when they KNOW most people manufacture all those insta posts to SEEM happy. It appears as though, to this generation, LOOKING happy to others is more important than FEELING happy quietly, in your private, tranquil life. Just be glad you’re not one of them.
I think people here are equating clicking pictures to posting on social media. They are hardly the same thing. It’s been 2 years since I quit SM because I was facing problems similar to OP but I still love clicking pictures!
Since I no longer obsess about how they look and whether the angle and lighting are right etc, I can have them just to cherish these moments later. The subjects I click have also changed – I hardly ever click pictures of things I buy for myself or the clothes I wear. I have more pictures of my girlfriend than ever, my cat, and pretty places and paintings. Pictures of pretty skies and events mean more to me now because they come without the baggage of having to make them more “post-worthy.”
What I’m getting from this is that you were having a great time in Europe and never bothered to post it on social media and that is completely fine! The experience is what matters. I’ve been using less of social media for a while now and I must say, I’ve been pretty happy about not posting everything that’s going on in my life. I’ve learned to put my phone away and enjoy the moments I hv in life without having to show people for proof that I’m living my best life. You have a life. Through the stories you share of your trip and how you behave towards it, I think people would instantly know that you do have a life :). I hope this helps <3
Suggest you watch this TED Talk. 10 mins and it changed the way I interacted with and used social media. https://youtu.be/G-lWWxJPfFo
The only social media I have is Reddit and Snapchat (group chats my friends forced me into). I even set my money transfers to private on Venmo because fuck the idea of people needing to brag about what they spent their money on to their friends list. I 0% care about my online persona.
Before I started working at the job I do now, my social life was nonexistent. The only people I talked to were my gaming friends. I have a big social life now because I’ve made genuine friendships with people I work with; they don’t care about what I do/did on social media. They like me as a person. They also know I’m a workaholic so even though I have plenty of interests, I work more than anything. Again, they still don’t care because my personality is enough.
Just keep doing you and if people need to see your social life before investing time in a friendship with you, they are hardly worth getting to know.
Focus on living an authentic life and you won’t care about the fake social media reality anymore. People are posting a very distorted version of reality anyway. It’s very phony and done for narcissistic approval seeking.
Anyone who cares about how active you are on social media probably isn’t that good of a friend.
I prefer a low presence. It’s generally safer and I always have something I can talk about that they haven’t heard or seen before. Engagement is more authentic and more fulfilling when I get to talk to my friends and show them the photos, rather than posting them into the void.
A caution about social media. It’s often used as a place to collect information on you: your habits, movements, schedule,etc by employers, criminals,law enforcement etc. and the site owners sell your data. I edit every post n remove any specifics with the previous in mind. Mentioning travel plans After you return ensures you aren’t robbed while away. Leave out specifics like dates,times,names, locations so an event can be mentioned eg ” we traveled last spring” or “attended a meeting recently”. Friends can always contact you for details, meanwhile acquantences see you are busy but minus the details. Protect yourself online.
What a bunch of weirdos