I was back from a day of hard work at my job and a gym session, I wa heavily sleep deprived and tired.
When I got home, I hoped in the shower and the only thing I had in mind was to get to sleep.
My gf was already in my bed waiting for me in her underwears, she was really horny and told me she was waiting for me all day.
I told her I din’t had the time and was tired, I got in my sheets and ignored her, but she kept on insisting and insisiting, stroking my intimate parts, and tried to pull my pant down while I was holding to keep it up. She tried to guilt me in doing so, and at the same time tried to flirt while the only thing I wanted was to sleep.She kept going and talk me into it, and tried to kiss me i turned my head in the opposite direction and she just got in the opposite one, and make me touch her sexually.
After 10 good minutes of this again repeditely, I finally gave in and did what she wanted I wasn’t much into it but I was still able to get a good erection, I was half sleepy during it.
And got right to bed when I satisfied her and made her finish .
Now thinking about It, I didn’t really apreciate what she did, but T not like traumatising stuff which will mark me for life, but it wasn’t cool and quite annoying. It’s the first time something like this happenned to me. Outside of that I think she is really a cool girl and our relationship is good.
Coming here for advices and outside opinions on this matter.
38 comments
What she did is not ok at all. Shows no regard for your boundaries or consent. For me that would be grounds for breaking up.
Just explain her that the bias of “hyper sexual males that want to smash h24” it’s wrong and that she have to respect when you don’t feeling like having sex.
Definitely not okay and you should probably have some words but if that is your regular schedule then she probably feels very ignored. Maybe take a day off the gym and give her a workout.
Yeah, think about if this was a guy doing this to a female friend of yours… it’s not okay. You said no multiple times. Just because you’re a guy doesn’t mean you can’t be taken advantage of, assaulted, or coerced into sex. It shouldn’t be excused just because you’re a man.
She didn’t respect your boundaries. She didn’t take no for an answer. Sadly there’s plenty of people aside from your girl, both men and women, who wouldn’t see much wrong with this, esp because you’re a man. And that’s a big problem we have in our society. I’m sorry this happened fl you.
Me? I’d leave, but that’s on you. You do need to sit down and have an open and honest conversation with both yourself, and then with her. Even if you decide you want out of it, she still needs to know how harmful this behavior was so hopefully she doesn’t continue, whether it’s with you or someone else. This behavior is something that needs to be treated and recognized as wrong no matter if it’s a male of female doing it to another.
You need to have a conversation about consent and boundaries.
Depending on how that goes, you will either break up or it will fix things.
You need to be receptive to your partner’s side as well. Still, it should be okay to say no. At any time.
Ask her if the genders were reversed would she find that acceptable?
Is this a genuine post?
I’ve looked at your post history and it doesn’t seem legit!
If it is legit….20 days ago you were on the dating scene hooking up with women…. I’d go back to the single life!
I recently entered a relationship with a man who doesn’t want to have sex as much as me. He’s living in a different country for work at the moment and we didn’t see you each other for a month. When I went for a five day visit we had sex twice. We’re both in our late twenties. I was so horny, I was very frustrated. If it had been up to me we would have had sex between five and ten times.
On the fourth morning, I asked him if he would go across the street and grab us some pastries. Then I wrote in my journal about how frustrated I was and concluded the following:
he doesn’t owe me anything, he doesn’t neglect me emotionally, he’s very generous in almost every way and it’s not like I’m not getting laid. Also we love each other and he has limits and I can either accept that or end it. And I love him so let’s have a nice breakfast, and not be a spoilt entitled selfish coercive rapey brat.
And we ate the pastries. And actually it was emotional work, but that’s part of healthy intimacy. It was selfish or her not to do that emotional work for you. Maybe she doesn’t know how, maybe she just chose not to. In any case, she needs to do better and I’m sorry for what happened to you. No one is entitled to have access to you in that way, and she acted like she is. If she believes that she really needs to be corrected, that is scumbag behaviour
Coercion sex is assault.
No means no. She did not take no, and in fact, was pulling your clothing down after you said no and were trying to keep them on. My friend, this is extremely rapey. I mean, if it were a woman trying to keep her clothes on and the man kept pulling them down and finally she gave up, it’s rape. You gave up because she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Rape isn’t always violent.
You need to sit her down and explain to her that at the VERY least she sexually assaulted you and wouldn’t quit. Then you need to decide if you want to stay in the relationship. I don’t recommend it, but if you do, she needs to understand what she did, admit to it, apologize, and even seek some therapy. She needs to find out why she believes she’s entitled to someone else’s body.
I think what she did is completely wrong. What I hate is the narrative that men are supposed to be always ready to go and so easily seduceable etc. As a female there’s a whole societal theme that you should always be able to turn your man on, if not, try something different, be sexy when he gets home, “get your own girl”, be confident and he’ll want to fuck you, if he doesn’t want you at all times there’s a problem, Etc. You *may* decide to give her the benefit of the doubt since you said this is the only time this has ever happened and assume she thought she was doing what she was supposed to do and was just being totally selfish. *this does not make it okay, and it will never be okay to coerce someone into sex if they have stated they don’t want to*
I would firmly tell her how it made you feel, that she violated your boundaries and you regret giving in to her. I hope she exhibits understanding and remorse. If she doesn’t and especially if she continues to violate boundaries then you need to leave this girl alone and ✌🏼 Abuse is not okay, double standards need to be talked about, your gender does not determine consent, it does not matter if you’re in a relationship, anyone and everyone should have their boundaries respected at all times.
This feels like a shitpost written by a 12-year old. Can’t prove it, just has that smell.
That was absolutely not ok. No means no, even in a relationship. Talk to her about this and make your feelings clear
Imagine if the roles were reversed
Not ok. Women don’t want to be pressured into sex. Why did she think it was acceptable? I would explain to her that it wasn’t cool in her part and be honest about it. If she does it again after you’ve told her, then you know she doesn’t respect your boundaries or your feelings.
What’s truly sad is if the genders was reversed you would be considered a predator
She absolutely should not have coerced you into sex – that’s just disgusting behavior. If you’re wanting to remain in the relationship you should have a conversation with her about this to ensure it doesn’t happen again in the future. Something along the lines of “hey you remember the other night when I came home from work and I was super tired but you were horny? I would like to talk about what happened because it made me very uncomfortable. I didn’t appreciate being pressured into having sex when I said I didn’t want to. I verbally and physically indicated that I did not want to have sex but you persisted with sexual actions until my only course was to have sex just so I could go to sleep. I hope you can understand how and why that made me uncomfortable. Just as your no to sex should be respected, so should mine.”
no positions need to be reversed or switched for anyone with an accurate understanding of coercion, to know this was 100% coercion. I’m sorry that happened and that you felt the need to go along with something you didn’t want to. your initial declining should’ve been more than enough for her to cut it out. you should sit down and have a serious talk with her about this and think about the fact that you were coerced and decide what you need now and what to do from there.
No means no
It is rape
What I find it strange is that some people commenting on the post questioning whether it’s real, if it even happened, sit down with her and talk ,…etc etc
If genders were reserved
They would be telling her to report you to the police instead
What you need to learn from this experience is:
– you were indeed raped
– you should definitely report it
– if she ends up getting pregnant by this forced intercourse; you are unfortunately still liable for child support. That being said, do not automatically assume that this baby is yours. Get a DNA test
– the relationship is over, since the trust and mutual respect is broken
– Double standards exist and this is your lesson no 1
If the girlfriend is normally cool like you say, she might have thought this was just a way to be playful. Yes it’s absolutely a double standard, bc a male doing this would be seen as rapey. But this is a great chance to both educate her on that and explain what men go through and how she can “put herself in our shoes” so to speak; but more importantly a great chance to communicate when she’s crossing your boundaries and making you uncomfortable. From there, maybe you can set a safe phrase, like “Babe, when I say ‘I’m really not down for this right now’ I really mean it and want you to respect that.” It’s a healthy conversation to have honestly, my wife and I had to as well.
This never happened. Such a fake story. If it is true then she is a psycho and the two of you are sexually incompatible.
I think she posted 6 hours ago that she wish her boyfriend would do her more. It’s here somewhere I just read it.
Count your blessings.
Your body your boundaries regardless of gender. I’m so sorry you were pressured into that situation, I hope you can draw a line with her for the future.
That could be considered sexual assault by the law. You said no. She refused to accept that and coerced you into performing a sexual act you did not want. You okay my guy?
Well, she raped you. Ask her if you did that to her, would she like?
nope. unacceptable. reverse the roles and explain this to her. men are not always ready for sex or feeling like it either. if you’re tired you go to sleep. end of story. nothing about sex is that urgent.
Coerced consent is still rape bro whether you’re ultimately fine with her behavior or not.
From the moment on in which you said that you don’t want to, her actions are considered as sexual assault. At least in German law
Sleep afterward should have been even better, shouldn’t complain
Op, I am so very sorry that happened to you.
What you just described was rape by coercion. It was wrong for her to refuse to accept no for an answer and to touch you when you didn’t want to be touched.
Unfortunately, most people make excuses for it no matter what, but they’ll do it even more because of the gender. And I am so, so, so sorry that happened.
Whatever it is you’re feeling and thinking now is totally ok, and justified. If those feelings change tomorrow, a week from now or ten years from now, it’s totally okay and justified.
What she did was sexual assult. It’s called coercion.
Fuck that. Get rid of her. I’m a male, who dealt with actual sexual abuse from my ex girlfriend who thought it was okay to coerce me or threaten me with shit if I refused sex daily or multiple times a day. Get the fuck out. You do not need this shit in your life.
Rape is rape no matter the gender. You were coerced.
My ex girlfriend did this to me as well, pretty much same circumstances and I never really realized how fucked up it was until recently actually. It’s basically rape but apparently men “can’t” be raped my woman 🤦♂️
Reverse the genders, and everyone would call it rape.
You poor baby I understand this, many men have done it to me when all I wanted to do was sleep, u need to tell her about it and say u weren’t comfortable, if she gets mad imma tell u now she ain’t a keeper of I was in that situation I would at least not try to get u to fuck me I would have cuddled u and fell asleep while rubbing your back
You just got basically raped by your gf. That is not acceptable.
I must be way different because I have never and will never say no to my wife’s advances no matter how tired I am.
If the roles were reversed, it would be a different story. This is still sexual assault.