F27 and M30 – differences in need for touch

TLDR: in a relationship with a wonderful partner who doesn’t need physical touch ever unless through sex. I am physically needy and have history of trauma connected to affection. Help?

I (F27) and partner (M30) have been together for over a year. We have a great relationship that came from being best friends for years beforehand. He (M30) is NOT affectionate, self proclaimed hermit, and tolerates my needs for physical touch, but it’s basically never initiated by him unless it’s sex. Which leads me to get needy and try harder to get affection, which hurts my feelings when I don’t get it. I get his logic, we’ve had conversations about it and talked at length, but I (F27) have a history of trauma and past abuse where physical touch was used as manipulation, among other issues, which I am trying to overcome.
Sometimes the fact that he doesn’t initiate affection leads me to have issues that shouldn’t be happening if I was dealing with this better – anger, sadness, anxiety, etc.

Long story short, I crave affection on too high a level and am trying to get over it to make our relationship better.
How do you deal with mismatched love languages and this type of issue without anxiety over it or getting upset?

NOTE – I am not breaking up with my partner. Don’t tell me to do that. We’re in a really good relationship, I just need advice on how to deal with my stuff. I’ve been in therapy, etc. as well.

Thank you!