Me and my bf have been together for 8 months. We are getting on fine, the bedroom department is amazing. He’s cute. I really like him. But there’s one or two things he doesn’t really like about me. I want to know if it’s worth destroying the full relationship over or if this can be worked through.
So firstly, and possibly our biggest issue is he really only finds me fully attractive when I am freshly waxed. And basically body hair in general is a huge thing for him. For me, I don’t mind and I can leave it a while, although even before him I was usually always hair free anyway. I just find it difficult to keep some of the high standards he expects. But I do love pleasing him.
The second thing is my history of sending people naughty pics. He brings it up sometimes and asks me if I still do it.
TLDR; bf doesn’t like some things about me. Are these things enough to break us?
10 comments
The first means he can be fun fling material, but you two have no long-term potential. So, the question is, do you want to have fun with him for a while or are you looking for something serious? He’s not partner material, but he might be a good time for a bit.
The short answer is that you can break up with anybody for whatever reason you want. If it were me, my assessment with depend on what happens when he “doesn’t like” something. Most people have preferences about how their partner looks, and some people disapprove of things their partner has done in the past. Often it’s a question of how the preferences or disapproval are expressed. For the waxing thing, is that a preference that he has expressed, or is it a thing that he insists that you do? If you don’t feel like waxing, what happens?
For the pictures, it’s not quite clear what the issue is. Is he shaming you for having done it? Is his questioning you about them a roundabout way of *asking*you for photos? Or is he accusing you of cheating by sending pictures to guys that aren’t him? If you don’t know, at the very least, I would ask him why he’s asking you.
I wouldn’t marry him that’s for sure. When you grow older you’ll get more blemishes and wrinkles and such, and he will not like that. Plus he’s less likely to stay with you if something happens like an accident or illness.
As for the second thing, I’m not sure what the problem is. Is it because he’s bringing it up too much?
Personally, I think it’s important to have a partner who accepts your body and doesn’t try and make you look a certain way. I’d break up with somebody over it. Not everybody would, though. Do you feel like it’s a respect issue?
If a man cannot stand you with body hair, I think that’s a good reason not to consider him as life partner material.
Because it will exhausting to always have to be smooth and hairless at all times, it takes work and effort to maintain such perfection.
What happens after you have a baby? And don’t have time for such things?
As for your past of sending naughty pics, there are men who are sexually excited by this and men who feel insecure in the relationship because of this.
Can’t be helped.
No idea. Is he rich and/or a playboy? If so, he’ll probably expect you to upkeep your appearances, based on his present preferences. And if that’s not something you want to do, you might be better off with someone more average. If he’s you’re average guy, he may have his preferences, but he’ll hardly care all that much if you upkeep. Most people start off caring about each others looks and then get comfortable.
You’re 19. I broke up with a girl because she liked horror movies like Saw. Either you are happy or you’re not.
Anyway, quick note. If these don’t bother you then they don’t bother you. It doesn’t matter if society says you should be upset. It only matters what you like.
It depends. Because they can be small or big?
For the first, you said that he won’t have sex if you aren’t smooth in another response. That is huge. Life happens. Sometimes, you will have stubble. You are a living, breathing sentient being, not a blow-up doll. Perfection is impossible. Most men know that, and even with a preference for the clean shaven look, would be fine with stubble on their girlfriend/wife from time to time.
For the second, it depends on how annoying/judgy he is about it. Is this something he brings up out of the blue? Or was it a one-time expression of distaste when he first found out about it? If he keeps bringing it up, then he is using it to put you down, and that is not something someone who loves you would do.
The combination makes him sound like he’s nitpicking you to control you at worst and immature at best.
Sounds like he wants you to do anything to please him without him lifting a finger to please you.
Look I’m all for whatever one wants to do with their body hair. But the fact that he won’t even have sex unless you’re exactly how he wants?
Better to leave now. Imagine if you stayed and had a baby. During pregnancy you can’t shave! The horror! Then he has to watch you give birth??
Sorry but he’s not mature enough for an adult relationship.
Again, as I said, shave, don’t shave, wax, don’t wax, that’s your decision. He’s putting wayyy too much stock in that.
You’re only 19. Move on to a real man – but maybe not quite yet 😛
What do you mean you send naughty pics to others? Are you cheating on your boyfriend by sending nudes to others?
Thats fucked up really