My (24M) Ex thinks I just use him for sex

Hi guys,

So I’m in a bit of a dilemma.

So my friend (Let’s call him Tate,) and I are not in a relationship anymore.

We haven’t been in a relationship for a little while but we still hang out a lot.

Normally our pattern is, We both get a rando day off, Hey lets hang out on that day, We pick something to do, movies, once we did lazar tag. It was fun. We also frequent aquariums and do other fun stuff like swimming and playing video games together

and then we get to my home, and have some sort of sex. I don’t really enjoy it and try to focus on it feeling good for him. I tried to ask Tate to do a few things for me once like oral, or foreplay and he said he wouldn’t enjoy them so I said that was fine we didn’t have to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with. He usually goes until he’s satisfied and I’m just there for the ride really.

Anyway, last week, he says he wants to cuddle and watch movies all day with this big fluffy blanket I have and then go get Insomnia cookies and check out this new Pho restaurant. I say okay, I got snacks for the movies and ask if he has protection. He says we don’t need it. I beg to differ.

Movies, with a blanket, hormonal young adults. Oh no I’m totally gonna let a guy come over without any condoms in my house. I get them anyway just in case. if he doesn’t want sex that’s cool, I just don’t want to get pregnant and would rather have them and not need them then need them and not have them.

The day comes and he has my shirt off before the movie is even half way through and he’s on top before Scott Pilgrim fights Matthew Patel.

After we’re cleaned up and snuggling again. He says he feels like I only use him for sex. I bit my tongue and tried to think of a polite way to say “No it doesn’t feel good for me, I do it because I want you to be happy.” He takes my silence as a yes. He asked why I asked him if he had protection if we were just going to watch movies. I tried to tell him it was because I just wanted to be safe He ignores that and we just go get food.

My dilemma is, I don’t care if we have sex, I want him to be happy. If sex makes him happy. When I see him I get super excited and I want to make him happy. I just want to do whatever I can to make him happy.

Another thing is, Lately I’ve been hanging out with my brother. My brother is three years younger than me but he’s very tall and towers over me. We go out to brunch, we see movies together, and go to concerts. Anyway my brother brought me a cute Hello Kitty Plush, said it reminded him of me. I was so happy and put it with all of my other stuffies, we went to Hibachi and he posted a picture of us together and tagged me in it.

Tate calls me, He’s pissed. He’s coming over tomorrow. He comes over with this HUGE Hello Kitty stuffed animal. He starts saying things like I don’t have to stay with him, I can find someone better than him, I should find someone better than him. I told him no I wanted him and I had no idea wtf he’s going on about. He takes me to bed, takes me to dinner, tells the waiter he wants the bill and not to let me take it and then when we get back to my house, he takes me to bed again and he tells me he loves me for the first time ever.

Then I wake up the next day, we eat breakfast and he says we’re just friends, but tells me he loves me again before he leaves.

I started talking to my work bestie about this and she said it sounded like he saw the pictures of me and my brother and got jealous thinking I was going out with other men. It took me a minute but then I remembered that my brother is Biracial (we don’t have the same dad) and then it sort of made sense but now I’m wondering what the heck I’m supposed to do now and why he didn’t just ask who my brother was.

Guys I just don’t know what the heck to do.

TL:DR According to him, I’m not his girlfriend, but I’m his girlfriend, He thinks I use him for sex but he’s bad at it, He also thinks me and my bro bro have a thing because he doesn’t know my brother is my brother.

Small edit: I posted this in a different sub and it got deleted because I think the title was misleading? Not 100 sure, delete if not allowed I suppose.