I (19F) used to be very social and could talk to anyone without making things awkward or others uncomfortable. I don’t know if it was the pandemic mixed with my horrible high school experience that ruined me but it feels like I’ve completely lost my spark and I have no idea how to get it back.
I mostly stay to myself and don’t talk to anyone but when I do I could hold a nice conversation with them and then suddenly get overwhelmed and end up saying the cringiest most awkward thing ever. This worst part is that I can feel that I’ve made everyone around me uncomfortable and I’m just stuck thinking “why did you do that. What is wrong with you”
Today for one of my classes we were doing an activity where we played an LGBT themed board game for this survey and at first it was going really well. We had to pull out cards with varying questions and my question was “what was your coming out story?” I’m straight and got a bit overwhelmed by the question so I just blurted out “oh I’m straight so I have no idea how to answer this question haha” and the other people I was playing with looked so uncomfortable. In my head I didn’t think it was a weird thing to say it was just awkward and I didn’t know what else to say. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut.
I ended up fixing it by making another joke in which my team members laughed so we just carried on but I regret even saying anything tbh. Maybe I’m just overthinking and I always try to think about what I say before blurting it out but I always end up with people looking at me like I’m crazy or I made them uncomfortable.
I wished I just hadn’t said anything at all.
1 comment
You are overthinking. No one is up at night thinking about your fuck up and clearly you’re pretty good because you made them laugh later on. Keep on practicing socialising and you’ll have more moments where you make them laugh and less where you make them cringe, not that I think they did anyway.