Ok hear me out before I get shit for liking my teacher:
First off I was never gonna do anything about it (kinda will expand later). I wouldn’t act on it because I obviously don’t want to put her job in jeopardy being a new teacher and I didn’t want to come off as weird.
So anyway here it is. I started out the semester normally and we’d chat and shit. It was kinda cool and very relaxed because it’s an arts class. I’ve had older friends around her age because of my job so I’m used to that kind of age gap. Well me being stupid and genuinely not liking anyone in my own grade started to develop a little crush on her. It seemed harmless enough but I knew there would be serious repercussions so I just kept it to myself.
So prom rolls around and I’m with my friends, they know I like her, and I’m like one of 2 of us without a date. Now I should have just grown balls and asked someone form my own grade but I didn’t and went just single. It was a fun night and I’m still glad I went single. (Side note me and my other single friend both had a great time and we’re singing obnoxiously loud along with all the couple sounds). But one plot point form that night was my friends trying to get me to ask her for a dance. Someone heard, either was told by my friends or bc we were loud, and told the teacher. Well I kind of suspected something that night bc when I was about to ask her she said “go back to dancing and enjoy your night”. Which was a little snap back to reality and I didn’t just that.
So prom was a month ago and I had noticed after she grew a bit more distant. Which was weird but I didn’t think anything of it. She’s still talk to me but only when I went over to her not how it used to be. The year is almost over and my friend is on her other class period so Ive been sneaking out of my class (we’re doing nothing) and pop in to chill for a bit. She asks my friend “are you close with him” he is. And then she says that during prom a student “told her something about me”. He asked who and she didn’t know. He asked what and she replies “it didn’t make me uncomfortable or disgusted but like” and then stops. She chose to stop and he tried to get her to talk but she didn’t.
Now I feel really bad because having a stupid crush made me lose someone who I had a chill friendship with. I don’t want thee to remember my as that weird kid who had a crush on her. Do I clear the air? Do I have a shot? Because it wasn’t a no (coping rn). Do I just not say anything? Bc she told him knowing I would find out. Idk pls help lol thank you
TLDR: I like my teacher but I wasn’t going to act on it. She found out and now our friendship isn’t the same. Don’t know next move
10 comments
Shit with all things I been seeing with teachers and students I think you have a shot! lol anyways my advice just wait till you graduate till you actually ask her out. You’re a legal adult so if she is into you only thing stopping her would be obviously school policies. But don’t tell her anything you’ve heard just play it cool and keep talking to her like you know nothing. And if you ever notice her being like distant or whatever when you’re talking to her just ask her “are you okay, you seem kind of off from the other times we’ve talked” or something like that. Then she’ll either bring up what she heard at prom or just tell you she’s having a off day. But yeah you never know if she’s into you, so I say you keep that friendship alive till you graduate and you can actually do something about it.
You didn’t have a friendship with your teacher like you would with a peer. She is an authority and role model over you and is kind of trying to enact proper boundaries with you considering her position.
It is developmentally normal for you to crush on a teacher. It would be incredibly dangerous and unsafe if she returned these feelings, pursued you, or didn’t set these boundaries. She actually needs to set stronger boundaries or she will get fired. I had a teacher just like her who was eventually fired for this wishy washy sort of refusal to appropriately do his job and be firm about his role in a student’s life.
Let’s be realistic. She’s a fairly new teacher. She’s being watched very closely by the administration. Whether your have a shot or not, “what she heard” was a potential threat to her job. That’s why the distance.
Best course of action… Don’t bring it up, don’t acknowledge it.
If you really want to take a shot at this, don’t do it at school.
TLDR
“I wouldn’t act on it”
“Do I have a shot”
These things do not compute.
You lying through your teeth talking about you wouldn’t act on anything otherwise you wouldn’t be asking if you have a shot with her?
Dear Penthouse: I never thought my deepest dream would ever come true. I’ve had a crush on my teacher…
she’s your teacher, she’s not your friend. because of the power dynamics, she isn’t your friend. you should distant yourself. also, your crush was getting too serious since your friends spread it around. Keep your distance. you don’t want to jeopardize your graduation or her job
She isn’t going to say shit until you are no longer a student.
That’s when you shoot your shot
Do. Not. Engage.
Even if you were graduated, legal, and everything was fine you do not want a partner who would cross that moral boundary. Trust.