I will recommend we go do something like kayaking. My friends will make excuses about why they can’t go. Then my other friend will say THE EXACT SAME THING and everyones like “yeah that would be fun” and they go do it. What is going here I feel like my friends don’t value my propositions.

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  2. I’ve seen this happen among one of my friend groups. My observation is charisma matters and how the idea is presented.

    What I do is if I hear a good idea, I’ll say “I think so-and-so’s idea is good,” thereby giving credit to the originator. But that’s not the issue.

    So how do you get them to listen? As stated, develop your charisma. How to deal with it in the meantime? Take some satisfaction knowing that your suggestions are being considered through other people. That’s weird isn’t it? It’s like you’re a royal advisor whispering strategies into the king’s ear.

    If you’re cheeky like I am, you can playfully say something like, “Excuse me. To be clear, kayaking (or whatever) is my idea.” Just don’t say it with any resentment. Say it with sass. That’s what people naturally respect.

    And for what it’s worth, kayaking is great. I did it often in college. I wouldn’t know what a stingray sting feels like without kayaking. It hurts lol.

  3. This happens to me and I think it’s because I talk too much and talk like I know things or share my stories related too much

  4. From your friends’ perspective, the same proposal from a **second** person means a minimum of a 3 person group rather than a theoretical minimum of 2 if they were the only person to accept your first proposal.

    You can use this to your advantage- echo another person’s proposal and you’ll give that proposal a lot more momentum.

    Just don’t take it personally when people are less willing to commit to a proposal from a single person

  5. It’s not about charisma, they clearly don’t like you, happened to me all the time, be careful of the haters!

  6. Might want to consider looking for new friends. Take what i say with a grain of salt though because I don’t know the whole picture

  8. strategy: ask a few people (3-4) individually via dms. preferably those whom you are closer to as they will likely say yes.

    say in your message that you’ve already asked the other people if they want to go. MENTION THEIR NAMES.

    if all those people are like “sure”, extend your invitation to the whole group chat. again, don’t forget to mention the people who were coming

    hope this helps

  9. I obviously don’t know if you are bossy, but I will say that bossy people get this response from people. Because they really aren’t recommending you do something they are telling you to do something and then often getting mad when you don’t want to be told what to do and therefore don’t do as they have told.

    So my theory is maybe you are coming off this way but your friend is coming off like they are making a genuine lighthearted, no-strings-attached recommendation.

  10. After reading your post and comments, your friends just aren’t that into you.

  11. This used to happen to me a lot, except at work! When problem solving I would offer a solution, which would either be ignored or I get a “hmm”. Then my other coworker suggests the same thing a few minutes later and she’s praised with “great idea!”. Oof. Luckily my coworker is a gem and will say “oh it was prairiepariahs idea” and sometimes it’s still ignored or given a “hmm”. I’m guessing I have a passive way of speaking, and often I’m more quiet and just go with the flow so people don’t always expect leadership from me if I do have an idea.

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