I (27F) have developed strong feelings for my co-worker (30M). I joined our company in June. I didn’t feel immediate chemistry, but we would have friendly casual chats during lunch. As time went on, I realized we have a lot in common and share similar values. One day, he slightly changed his route home and now we walk for a few minutes extra together which I look forward to each day. We just goof about and have a lot of fun. On our most recent staff night, he told me that this walk is the best part of his day. I felt so happy and spent the rest of the night flirting with him (lots of eye contact, laughing, touching), but nothing happened.
Since that night, he doesn’t really make eye contact with me or make an effort to speak to me at work. After work, we still walk together and joke and chat, but it feels different. I feel really confused because I really thought we were gearing up for something. Have I totally misjudged our chemistry? We work in an environment where it’s not a problem to date co-workers. I guess I’m looking for an outside perspective on this situation.
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TLDR: I had strong chemistry with co-worker that seems to be fizzling after staff night.
6 comments
Don’t fuck or date your co-workers.
Maybe he thought about it and decided it was better not to mix business and pleasure… idk I’d have to know the guy. Personally I’d never date a coworker as I’ve seen that end messy too many times
Maybe he’s recognized that with layoffs galore this isn’t the best time to have to find a new job. Dating coworkers almost always results in one or both parties needing to leave the company. There’s a reason the adage “don’t sh*t where you eat” exists.
He probably felt like he’s leading you on and felt guilty about it
Oh awkwardness. There could be any number of reasons behind his change in demeanor and it’s probably more about him than you or anything you did.
In pretty much any scenario, backing off from flirtation is probably the right call. If he seems really off, you could ask if he’s feeling OK to see if he wants to talk (maybe his dog died and it has nothing to do with you, eg). If he gives you mixed signals, you can always just ask him out and find out if he’s open to dating.
is he single?