I met a guy, let’s call him E. E is a 27 year old male and I’m a 22 year old female. We are LDR dating right now.
Within the first 2.5 weeks of talking to me, he started talking about marriage and kids. It was all very hypothetical. We haven’t said the love word yet, but we recently spoke about it and said that he is developing those feelings for me.
Well!! We had a video chat date scheduled yesterday. We are both bad planners and we didn’t really set a time. He’s a very spontaneous person and I’m a very passive person.
Instead of showing up to our video chat date, he spent the day with his friends even though he said he’d be back at night time. I was upset because I got ready and everything..
Well!! Today he hasn’t texted me at all. He didn’t tell me where he was going or what he was going to do.
I don’t know if I should be passive aggressive, ignore him until he says something, or just pretend to be okay with it. Or actually talk to him about it.
The thing is: I don’t like telling someone how they should act and I want to see if they’re naturally compatible with me.
TLDR: Guy isn’t respecting my time and it’s the first time he’s done this but it’s rude. I don’t know how I should react.
3 comments
You have already seen his natural disposition, now there is time for direct communication. Do not dance around this because you won’t get answers that way.
The best way to assess his character is to directly confront the situation and communicate that you two planned a video chat that night and you felt a little frustrated he did not make time to call you, which was waste of your time and indicates he is not interested.
Hot and cold from a man, especially this early on, is not a good sign. I would be wary with this one.
You both didn’t make any solid plans and then you got mad he didn’t make it to the non existent plans! Your question is how to react. Do not be passive aggressive or pretend to be fine with it. Chalk this down to shit communication on both sides. Tell him this LDR won’t work unless you both start to be more proactive with your plans. LDRs are hard and require a bit more of an effort which you both need to do better with. Schedule a date and time to talk, or do something together online or whatever you do to spend time together in your LDR. If he still lets you down then you need to question his commitment to the relationship.
Why are so many young people trying to have a relationship with people they can’t actually be physically in the presence of regularly??? Much less get so twisted over a relationship that’s only a few months old at the most! It’s very simple. You text him that you didn’t appreciate his disregard for your plans and if he does it again then you’re calling it quits.