So context, 34m that hasn’t dated in 12 years, or much at all tbh. Anxiety, depression, and trauma related etc. But also, I have absolutely no game.
I have been recently building up the courage to ask a coworker out and am wrought with fear. I haven’t attempted this in about 4 years or so. I only see her on weekends due to shift schedule and not always consistently, but I can’t help feeling really uplifted and happy after being around her. Our interactions are always fun and I think there’s a vibe between us but I am always triple guessing the signs.
Lets assume the good timeline where I actually do it and she actually says yes. Wtf do I do now?
My hobbies mainly are gaming and being a home body, but I am trying to nudge myself out of my comfort zone. She isn’t a gamer, but I also don’t actually know what she is into. Hell I don’t even know if she’s single but no control over that anyway.
I also struggle with the idea of imposing what I want to do on others, so I default to thinking “what I wanna do is probably lame, so I hope they have a suggestion of what they want to do instead”.
I’m trying to go into this with the expectation to fail and to be okay with it if I do since rejection is a problem for me, but this is quite nerve wracking. I think I’m ultimately afraid of the moment where I’m either rejected or told she has a boyfriend and having the vibe change from then on. I absolutely hate having crushes on people.
tl;dr – Introverted shy man asking for date ideas. Dunno wtf I’m doing.
1 comment
why don’t you just start with a drink?
don’t over think it. a drink, somewhere nearby and/or familiar. worry about something interesting and fun for date 3 or 4 or whatever. first one can be a drink, second dinner.