I don’t post on reddit often, but I’m really having a hard time with this and I don’t have many people to talk to irl.
My current best friend, we’ll call her E, and I have been best friends since we were freshman in college- so almost 5 years. We lived across the hall from each other and clicked instantly, we both graduated last year and are living together for the second year in a row.
During our freshman year, E cut off her childhood friend, who we’ll call M. From my understanding, M was just not putting effort into the friendship and E got tired of being the one to initiate all contact. A couple years after they fell out, E confessed that she had been crushing on M for a long time during their friendship.
In January, E told me she reached out to M and wanted to make amends and potentially rekindle their friendship. She showed me the messages and it seemed like they had both said their leave about what happened. About a month ago, E started mentioning that M wanted to hang out. They are planning to hang out for the first time this weekend.
E is planning a girls trip out of state for her birthday next month, and myself and couple other friends are going. Today, she asked me to stay back so M could go. I was confused, and she tied to play it off like she was helping me because I’ll have a very busy month- but I don’t want to miss my best friends party!
We argued for a while, and I eventually said I didn’t want to be around her anymore and needed space because I was upset. E cried when I yelled, and I felt really bad, but I was so angry. I feel like I mean nothing to her, and she doesn’t value our friendship. We’re in a lease for another year. I’m genuinely hurt and I don’t know how to confront her or move past this. How should I even start to address this with her? What is the best way to approach this?
Everything was fine, we haven’t been arguing, E is going through some stuff so I’ve tried to be more supportive and help keep around our home so she doesn’t have to worry as much. I’m just stumped.
TLDR; I think my best friend is trying to replace me with one of her childhood friends, she asked me not to go on her birthday trip to make room for said friend.
2 comments
It seems like it’s more about the fact that E has a crush on M than about trying to replace you as a friend. People do crazy things when they’re trying to get close to someone they like, but it’s not an excuse for her to ask you to stay back from a trip… why can’t M come in addition? Or why couldn’t she ask another friend to hang back? Maybe she thought you would be understanding that she wants to have her crush there… but it was really rude and disrespectful. I think you should have an open conversation about M
Is the trip somehow limited in the number of people who can go? A prepackaged number of spots?