I feel so vulnerable when I’m speaking and often have to look away. I often avoid eye contact like the plague… When a stranger & I are walking opposite directions and we’re \~10ft from passing each other on the sidewalk is extremely painful and I hate it.
When it comes to convo… I can look people in the eye when they’re talking, but when I’m talking, I just keep wondering what they’re starting at or what they think about what I’m saying and it sucks. Anyone else experience this? What have you done to help? I know people who keep eye contact are seen as confident & that’s something I want to cultivate!
2 comments
I used to be like that! Just think of it as a contest and who first shies away is the loser! That helped me a lot except i always lose when comes to women..
Ditto but I learned a trick!
I’ll share with you but don’t tell anyone else, mkay.
I like to call it ‘snorkling’. I give a glance at eye contact – a brief 0.5second glance at their face and then I look away again for as long as it takes me to be ready to take another look.
It feels weird at first but you get into the habit of giving them just enough eye contact that they aren’t sus and you’re giving them their much needed contact to show you’re paying attention… and it’s barely any eye contact so it’s a bit more comfortable for you.