After many years of working nights or late evenings, I FINALLY got a day shift, meaning I have free time on weekdays to do stuff! I really want to use this opportunity to meet potential partners, but I’m not sure how. Or at least, I’m not sure what my best bet is. My social life so far has been mainly my DnD group or a mostly male discord group my online bestie hangs with, so I’m kind of starting with minimal experience. ^^’
I’ve got a bad case of “needing to break out of my shell” for starters. I’m far too nervous talking to near anyone I don’t know. So I don’t exactly know how to make a good first impression with strangers in public or through dating apps. Once I’m out of my shell, my personality is far more pronounced and exuberant, its just getting there I’m uncertain of.
Also unsure what kind of “third place” I should be hanging out at that encourages single people, dorks included (or especially) to socialize.
So does anyone have any good advice?
2 comments
For starters I recommend hitting the gym for the confidence boost and feeling good about your body.
I also recommend finding a new hobby to explore like a hiking group, dance class, climbing gym, or co-ed sport to fill your free time. Try em all, whatever, see what sticks. You want to be meeting new people on a weekly basis. Befriend everyone and learn how to break the ice with strangers.
Practice getting better at small talk and socializing. Make the people around you feel good, and you’ll attract through positive energy. Invite people out for a drink or happy hour once you’ve made a few new friends. The girls you first meet might not be the one, but they may introduce you to her friend that is. So build a positive reputation. Be calm, cool, and collected.
Develop an online dating profile. Use this to help supplement the people you meet in-person. If you don’t have good pics, start getting some. Travel, get out there, ask friends/strangers to get your pic at iconic spots or fun moments. Your profile should tell a story
Books that I think may help your approach and mindset to dating are “No More Mr Nice Guy” and “Models”. Do not fall into the pickup game trap, it is shallow and lame. You want real confidence in knowing who you are, what you’re worth, and what you’re willing to accept or looking for in a partner.
Dating is a grind, but try to have fun with it. Make it entertaining. Try not to make it too interview focused, but more along the line of getting to know someone through a shared experience.
You’re going to have to get uncomfortable before you become comfortable with going out and socializing in social environments, but this will give you the momentum to keep going and highlight the areas where you might need to tweak or take a look at.
Joining groups/classes that align with your interests/hobbies is a good start as this will allow you to surround yourself with like-minded people so initiating conversation will come easier