where do i begin? i will try to keep this short:
my ex was my very first boyfriend & i broke up with him on 23rd Feb. So it’s been almost 3 months since then and we were only together for like 6 months.
i wrote a lot in my diary during that time, about the good times we had but especially about the bad times. he was abusive & i wrote over and over again how i made my decision about leaving him but i would always go back to him still. after i left for good, we met twice more to talk about everything but it let to nothing & i cut all contact. all contact except… we are coworkers. so a few weeks after the breakup he gave me a goodbye letter at work. he then said that he would love to read everything i ever wrote about him (he knew how often i’d write about him). at that time i didn’t want him to have such an insight into my thoughts especially since i knew that the tiniest of interactions gave him hope that there could still be a chance of him and i getting back together. there’s no chance, none.
so fast forward to last night, when i finally got rid of the last things that remind me of him. i collected all the letters & diary entries i ever wrote about him & i realised it’s a lot. i was about to throw it all away when i remembered how he wanted to read them. i really don’t want 1. for him to get his hopes up & 2. to make him sad. there are a lot of hurtful things in these entries & even though i don’t want this person back in my life, i still don’t want to make him suffer. part of me says i should throw everything out and just let it go. but another part of me says that if i clarify to him how me giving him these pages doesn’t mean ANYTHING & it’s just one last favor for him, it’s totally okay. that’s literally what it would be: a last favor (he REALLY wanted these entries). i don’t want him to give me any reaction to the letters, i don’t want this to start any further interactions, i don’t even care if he will actually read them. i just think that since he asked for it & i am at the point where i don’t want to have them anymore, i could do him this favor instead of “wasting“ all these pages.
So.. am i being unfair? to him and/or to myself? maybe this isn’t as deep as i make it sound but idk :/ thanks in advance !!
6 comments
DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR DIAEY ENTRIES. He is NOT entitled to that information and that has your very personal thoughts. This is weird, dont let him make you think that would be normal. Asking your ex who you have no contact with for their diary entries is weird.
Please dont let this guy read you personal thoughts.
Don’t give them to him. This is just an excuse to prolong contact outside of just a coworker relationship. Literally nothing good can come out of you giving them to him. There is literally no benefit to you. It will start further interactions, he will have conversations with you, he will probably get emotional, hell, he might even get angry. Do you WANT to create a toxic work environment for yourself?
Just burn them.
He’s your ex, so that means you don’t have to litigate this relationship anymore. He wanted to read what you wrote, but since he’s your ex now you don’t have to worry about his feelings. You re overthinking this. (PS: Instead of burning this stuff, put it in a box and put it away. Your diaries might be instructive & interesting to you when you get older. I would say never get rid of stuff you actually wrote.)
As a guy this is a red flag even for me DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT give him anything especially your diary entries those are your personal thoughts and he has not right to them even if they are about him. I would never ask any woman I’ve dated for diary entries about me. Thats an invitation of your privacy. I seen someone say its a way to prolong contact and I agree and its also a way to prolong any control over you he may have or still has. And he could very well use them against you in some way. RUN AWAY FROM THIS SITUATION as far and as fast as you can no contact means just that no contact. Talk to your supervisor and HR about one of you being moved to a different department or different shifts or something so that you don’t have to have any contact with him even at work.
Diaries are meant to be private. You have no obligation to share them. Personally, I wouldn’t give them to him.
Your Diary?
Never consider giving it to anyone…EVER