We’ve been very good friends for few years and lately we started sleeping casually. I’m leaving abroad so whenever I came to my hometown we were meeting in the hotel (we’ve met 3 times already in the past 3 months).
Lately while we were talking I opened up myself to her while drunk and told her that I’m seeing also another girl, also one of my good friend. She connected the dots and realised that I always was seeing the other girl the next night after her in different hotel.
Since we weren’t exclusive she can’t have a problem with that and once I even told her that I’m gonna have a date with someone.
But she told me that I led her to believe that she’s something more than friend and that she became one and only. I need to admit that sometimes when I’m drunk I’m making confessions about my feelings. And I’m guessing I told her some romantic stuff during sex that she took seriously. Also we were sexting quite a lot and sometimes things got flirty, few times quite jokingly I called her my “one and only”. Also I got her valentines gift as well as sometimes I sent her good mornings texts. Sometimes I also let her know that I’ma bit jealous of her. I planned to take her to nice places when she moved back to the country where I am working now (since we were working together abroad but she came back to our hometown and now we’re away from each other)
Now when she found out that after nights with her I had another nights with my other good friend she’s pissed off and basically told me that she felt used and treated like sex object. She’s highly disappointed with me cause as a good friend I should have gave her some respect and honesty and I played her dirty with my empty, romantic words and gesture. During our last conversation I also drunkily and jokingly told her that I tell this romantic stuff to every girl and also give gifts to everyone. She said I’m manipulative asshole and doesn’t want to be my friend anymore and basically is disgusted by me.
I kind of understand her and feel bad for hurting her but also I think I was quite clear when I told her once I’m going to have another date so she shouldn’t had have any expectations especially that now we’re living far from each other.
I tell her all of these flirty and sexy stuff to spice things up between us especially that she was turning me on a lot.
I’m lost in this and quite confused.
Reddit what’s your thoughts about that situation?
8 comments
She’s right and you should stop drinking
It sounds like FWB has gone wrong. No one knows if you’re joking or not. Sometimes people take things seriously communication is essential. I’m sorry that your friendship ended up this way.
She’s right. You misled her. Why tell her who else you’re sleeping with also?
She is absolutely right. Your behavior and comments are disgusting. You tried to play both sides of the field and got burned because it is a shitty thing to do. You did use her and you did lead her on. Be a bigger man, take responsibility, and try to have your words matter instead of spewing lies.
You need to seriously work on your communication otherwise you will continue to hurt people.
You lead her on 100%. You don’t deserve her friendship at all.
Your treating her like a joke, she correct your behaviour towards her is that of someone with zero respect for his friend.
Man, you are either clueless or a massive a-hole.