My boyfriend (21 M) and I (21 F) have been dating about 3 months. Recently I’ve noticed my sex drive is higher than his. I crave the feeling of having him inside me, and I want it 24/7. He slept over last night and in the span of last night and this afternoon we’ve had sex probably 4-5 times. I find myself wanting more and more but after sex he’s quite tired. There have been more than a couple times in the past where I have Initiated sex and he kinda just brushed it off. I know it’s not personal and just we have different sex drives, but it makes me feel insecure and not sexy when he doesn’t want me because I always want him. Which I know I shouldn’t feel that way and it’s unfair to him. I just don’t know how to deal with the hornyness I feel when I am with him. Afterwards I can somewhat release it by playing with my toys. But how do I stop being so fucking horny and a sex fiend when he is here?
19 comments
Shit I wish my girl was like this…
It’s a natural feeling, the best thing you can do is be honest with him that you want him more often and you’d rather be having sex with him than playing with your toys. The best relationship partners don’t make you change who you are, they embrace and want more of what you want. Best case scenario he feeds your desires with sex or in another creative way, if not you may have to cope with using toys before he comes over to curb your sexual appetite a bit knowing that he’ll only want to go a certain number of rounds.
Thank you! This was really helpful 🙂 I
guess I should try to work up the courage to talk to him about it. This is my first relationship so I’m not used to navigating these things. I also don’t know when is a good time to fully discuss kinks and such. I don’t wanna scare him off haha. And I really do like him as a person and the sex is also good, it’s more so just the lack of frequency and also there are more things I would like to explore that I’m not sure he’s really into :/
All I can say is, good luck. This is how my husband and I have always been and I just have had to… calibrate. For lack of a better word. I thought it would get better with time but nope. 11 years married and I swear I just want him more and more.
My gf and I both have the same issue of always being horny, but we realize that we need to make time for the less sexual parts of our relationship as well. Strangely, just cuddling helps a lot; for me, it doesn’t necessarily make me not horny, but it’s like a dampener and a different kind of satisfaction that can make me crave it more than sex. Sometimes, we’ll just cuddle and watch TV, and it’s really nice. 🙂
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You should get some toys, people sex drives are always different. Probably one of the best things we did to help in the bedroom was buy her a vibrator. That things like my partner haha
Is he doing most of the work physically? sex can be exhausting.
4-5 times in 2 days is a lot, sometimes male biology just quits at that that point.
5 times in less than 24 hours is about as good as it’s going to get with any man on the planet.
Well men the more sex they have less they want it. Its other way for woman.
Your sex drive is perfect. He as a man, needs more time to recuperate since he has a refractory period quite different from yours and he needs to allow a few hours, days or so to fully be ready so he will have made enough semen and has acquired enough stamina. Us females can keep going and going endlessly tbh lol. But it’s just a bit different for men. Now there are other men who can be ready to go quickly again and have a more robust sex drive. So it comes down to how you feel with someone having lower libido than you or if this just may be an eventual deal breaker you ought to have a serious conversation with him. If not, and you’re willing to compromise and actually be ok with it, than sex toys my dear. It will end up being your best friend.
Honestly fucking 4-5 times for a man, even in his 20’s, it’s a lot.
I really really love sex but once i have fucked a lot the body becomes unwilling, that’s it.
Maybe a way out for you is to have maybe less penetrative sex and more cunnilingus, handjobs, make out sessions, or cuddling, so that you can feel desired?
Unfortunately, most partners sex drives never fully line up. One will always want it more than the other. It’s normally a sore spot but a lot of times it just is what it is. Try to find someone as compatible as you can and go with it.
Speaking from past experience in a relationship where my girlfriend (now ex) had a way higher sex drive than me: Find your balance, and accept compromise! I know there were definitely times where I was in the mood and she wasn’t and vice versa, the easiest way I found to take care of myself was simply masturbating to curve my drive a little bit (: If my girlfriend was in the mood and I just wasn’t feeling it at the moment, she would just get herself off and that would always help! Sometimes even if I wasn’t in the mood and she was getting off, I would offer to help with simple things like giving her soft neck kisses, playing with her nipples, etc. and she would happily do the same for me if the roles were reversed! Compromise and reciprocation are useful tools in navigating sexual relationships 😌 and also remember, everyone is totally different and needs different things so don’t feel bad if you can’t keep up, it’s the effort and thought that counts 🤘
You have a high drive. You might want to only date men with very high drives as well.
I find that no matter how perfect a man is, if he doesn’t match me in the bedroom, I’m miserable.
My girlfriend are like you, so cum just the end of the day so we can do it 5 times in the day.
Try to not to equate the fact that he may not want to have sex in a certain moment with him not being attracted to you. I know its hard, but the sooner you learn that, the easier it will be to see it as just an objective difference, not an attack on you, or a reflection of how sexy he thinks you are.
Keep in mind you’re also in the honeymoon phase. My partner and I had sex probably 5-9 times a day for the first few months. It slowed down later on (we still have high sex drives though) since we need to do so much ordinary life tasks.