My birthday just past and again, no acknowledgment from her.
To make this short my sister(23f) and I(25f) have been estranged for almost 2 years now due to her taking advantage of me, disappearing constantly, not being reciprocal, and the most recent, not acknowledging my child’s birth or checking on me during my pregnancy. This makes me *eye roll* because shouldn’t it be common sense to check on a loved one? She expected me to be the one to keep her updated. I will note that she’s not a mother so is her checking on me asking for too much? Idk, whatever.
I finally decided to be the bigger person and try to sweep all this under the rug because despite all this I still have a small hope of us having a better relationship. We agreed to meet up to get reacquainted and for her to finally meet her niece. We haven’t agreed to a date yet as the weather has been bad and that I haven’t had time yet to meet.
Well my birthday was yesterday and once again, no acknowledgment from her. To give context, prior to our estrangement we have told each other happy birthday every year so this is new on her end. Anyways I think this is odd because I thought we were trying to fix things. I don’t know if I should ignore it and still set a date to meet, confront her about it, or just abort mission altogether because she probably hasn’t changed. I’m questioning if I’m asking for too much at this point or over thinking. What should I do?
TL;DR: I’m trying to make amends with my sister but in the middle of that she still chooses to not acknowledge my birthday and I don’t know how I should respond to this
2 comments
You two are apparently far more estranged than you actually realised. You may want to rebuild and give her chances, but to her it may just be that you’re introducing your child and that’s all. To rebuild she has to know you want that and want that herself too. Then it’s no surprise you’re trying to carry this cart alone, cos she apparently doesn’t even know what you’re doing.
She has a history where she shows you she doesn’t want a close relationship with you. Then you adjust your expectations and make your own decisions about what you want to invest in. It may be that you should meet up, show your baby and then just keep occasional contact that way. Or maybe your baby should never meet an aunt who is unreliable. But you are the one making the decision, cos you’re the tie between them for now.
Sometimes people say no without saying the words. Maybe you’re right, you’ll get more contact if she chooses motherhood. But for now, she has her own life and you’re not part of it. You don’t even have to fight her about it, because ‘you forgot my birthday’ will only put her in defense. Will be unproductive yelling if she doesn’t want a relationship with you.
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