I started dating my boyfriend about three months ago. Soon into the relationship I felt as though I knew he were the one. Our conversations are long, deep and we have the same energy.
We started talking about the possibility of marriage very quickly because of this, not realizing only a short amount of time had gone by, as it felt as though we had known each other forever.
He treats me so well, we share the same values, and he holds the sweetest plans for his future. Is it too irrational to say “yes” to a probable proposal in the next 1-3 months?
11 comments
My parents got engaged after 3 months and have been married for nearly 30 years, and happily so. More time in a relationship correlates with success, but people can be in relationships for years without really knowing one another. As long as you *know* the truly important things about each other and are on board, then it absolutely can work out. Trust your gut and trust those who love you, people who will make sure to reel you in if they think you are getting swept away in a reckless fantasy.
My now husband and I started dating in July of 2018, I proposed to him in December, we bought a house in the following February, had our first son in March 2021, had our second son in March 2022, got married that following June and bought our second house in August!
Time means nothing, if everything you need is there it’s there. We’ve been together less than five years and lived a very abundant life so far. We are happy and he’s still my favourite person.
I got married after dating for only 5 months and I very much do NOT recommend this kind of thing to anyone. Things were absolutely amazing between us at first, and it truly felt right, but there were major, unreconcilable incompatibilities that I discovered after we’d been together about a year, 7 months after we were married. I really wish I had just dated longer and not rushed into things. Why not just enjoy dating and getting to know other? (Trust me, you don’t actually know each other as much as you think in just a few months) What benefit are you getting out of rushing things?
Slow your roll.
We were together for about 9 months before we got married, it’s been almost 11 years now.
Things keep getting better and I have 0 regrets.
I married my wife of over 40 years after knowing her for four months, but I think that is rare.
I knew I wanted to marry him after 6 weeks of dating. 11 years later and we’re very happily married. But we didn’t get married until year 3 of us being together.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with knowing quickly, or getting engaged quickly, but I wouldn’t get married quickly. For us we dated for 19 months and then we were engaged for 20 months. We had so much fun planning our wedding and it was perfect.
This is actually my second marriage, which is one of the reasons I held back. I’ve seen love turn into hate and I didn’t want that. I wanted time to see us happy, sad, stressed, and angry. Before we got married my grandmother died, his father almost died, I had surgery, he had the flu, and life was just normal messy life. We got to see all the sides of each other and find the flaws and fall in love with the flaws.
My advice is live together for at least a year before you get married. Live together and look for the flaws and fall in love with them. Love the way he always wears his shoes in the house even though you think it’s gross. Love the way he folds towels wrong so you need to go behind him and fix it. Give him time to love how neurotic you are for fixing the towels.
So get engaged whenever but wait to get married until you’ve seen the good, bad, and ugly of each other
We were engaged within a year and married within a year and a half, still happy after 5 years, though sometimes I wish we had waited a bit more. I think the older and wiser you are the more likely a quick engagement is to end well, vs in your early 20s it is risky, brains still forming and all that.
I met my husband in September, we were married in June.
It’s been over a decade and we’re still going strong.
I’m not going to say it can’t work because I’m sure there are cases where it has. But personally I would not want to commit to someone for life unless they had been through a lot with me. We would need to both have gone through traumatic events and seen the absolute worst of each other before I’d consider it.
I also feel like when you’re younger, like less than 35, this is a lot more dangerous. You’re both still changing and growing and maturing a lot. Finally, I would definitely not recommend getting engaged without living together for a while first.
Dated for 2 years. Engaged for 2 days. Married 8 years in May coming up here!