I’m a 27 year old woman who has always been on the heavy side. Up until 3 years ago I weighed 230 pounds but was put on sertraline and my weight jumped at 280 which I am now. Currently trying to lose weight but I am so starved for touch and so sexually frustrated I cannot focus on anything. I don’t want to date at the moment, I just want sex.
I have a pretty face and online dating gets me a lot of attention but as soon as a guy asks me out I freak out and ghost him cause I think he won’t like my body even though they know i am plus size. I mean I was pretty insecure at 230 but 50 pounds later I feel like a mess, I don’t think any guy would like me like this even if they say so. I’m cock blocking myself at this point, lol, but I feel stuck and don’t know what move to make.
36 comments
For one, if you’re gonna be on dating sites, DO NOT do that bullshit women do where they won’t post a full body pic. And do it with real angles too.
If you have a really pretty face, good energy, describe yourself well, and dress well to compliment whatever good features, I promise you people will find you attractive. Especially if you’re making it clear that you just want sex, your only problem will be filtering through who you think deserves the pussy. And then if you’re also stating that you’re on a weight loss journey after bad medication you might even meet a guy who wants to help you and stay long term.
But I repeat, DO NOT halfway catfish people by only taking neck up pictures. It’s unfair and if you actually set a date up with a guy who gets there and is unpleasantly surprised by how big you are he will most likely cut it short or ghost you.
Sounds like it’s just a mental block. I’m sure you would be capable of having successful dates regardless of your weight. Even more so if you’re looking for strictly casual and are upfront with those you see potential in.
Idk height compared to weight but honestly if you are just looking for casual sex you won’t have a hard time finding guys to hookup with. Confidence makes a huge difference though.
I used to date a lot before I met my current SO. I am a larger women (250 at one point). I always posted a full size picture of myself on my profile so that there would be no surprises. I didn’t get the most replies as some other women but I also didn’t have all that much problems finding dates. There were two guys who really pissed me off. One guy had to be at least 10 years older than he said he was and looked nothing like his picture. Another man said he “was a few extra pounds”. I see him and he was about as wide as he was tall. No, he wasn’t short. Haha. Try meeting up with a man for a casual coffee date and see where it goes. After a few of these I hope you can get over your fears of rejection.
Some of us like curves. But we like honesty about it. And, as you’re finding, many of us are older.
I’m plus size I can assure you that you will not miss out. I always say on my profile about my weight. Before I found someone I was interested in I had offers despite my size (unfortunately lack of spare child free time meant no playing ) lol just be honest is my best advice and if really worried ask to video call so they can see what you look like. I don’t put photos full body as I only have the odd few and I don’t like them so for me for video call works out a great way to break the ice xx
There are a lot of guys (like me! 🤣) that love a gal with some size. Like the others said, post at least like one full body picture. Sounds like you already are. You can get out there! Be safe 🤘🏽
Just be honest to whoever you’re with. Lots of people don’t care.
I’m a plus sized woman and had no trouble finding casual partners when I was single. I just made sure to include a couple full body pics in my tinder profile so they knew what they were getting into lol. I used to be quite thin and I feel like I got about the same amount of matches at both weights. However, once I put single mom in my bio my matches dropped dramatically lmao.
There are plenty of men who like bigger women or don’t have a preference. I wouldn’t worry too much. Just make sure they know you’re plus sized. Don’t just post selfies cause honestly you’re just gonna end up hurting your own feelings when they find out you’re plus sized. Even if they didn’t care they’re still gonna feel lied to and nobody wants that.
Also, watch out for the guys that are “secretly” into big women. Nothing worse than a guy being embarrassed about sleeping with you, even if it is just a casual thing.
You won’t have issues finding a hookup but my main advice for plus size women is not to settle for bad sex because you think no one wants you. It’s far from the truth.
As a plus size woman, I never had issues attracting men on dating sites. I made it clear on my profile I’m on the chunkier side and also made a point of asking them they realised incase they hadn’t bothered reading my profile before messaging.
Any that I clicked and met up with, never once had any negative issues with my body. In fact, quite the opposite!
If you’re not feeling overly confident in yourself I’d suggest spending some time talking to them first, building some sort of connection. A nice level of communication and respect, have a laugh and joke and get comfortable with them first. I always did this first, none of this started talking Tuesday and met Thursday rubbish. We could be talking a couple months before we met, even for something casual.
Also, lingerie! Get some and dress up when you meet. Get the kind you don’t have to take off for sex if it makes you feel more comfortable. I’m pretty sure he won’t mind lol
My wife had a similar issue with her confidence. We’re swingers and after a short break from the lifestyle she had out on some weight and she figured a lot of men wouldn’t be as interested in her as they were pre weight gain. Her experience hasn’t been that at all!!! Seems nothing has changed. She’s still as popular as she ever way. She’s about 270 at the moment and it’s helped with her confidence a lot (still working on losing weight for health reasons). Be confident in who you are. People will find reasons to not like you for one thing or another, so what if it’s your weight! Be honest about who you are and your intentions and have fun! You’re a star and should be treated like one regardless of weight!
Oh I was having great casual sex at like 265 lbs, it’s great! Listen, don’t decide what a guy wants for him. I’m not even going to tell you to love your body. That’s hard, I still work on it. But I’m someone who wants sex and desires sexual touch. You don’t have to be “perfect” to deserve those things. You just have to be open minded and thank your body for getting you to another day where you can go fuck the shit out of someone. And don’t settle for what you don’t want, only meet with guys you have a valid interest in exploring.
Quick search on top porn site. Bbw has 54,501 videos. The top video alone has 87 million views. I personally have dated several bbws long term. You will find plenty that want to sleep with you.. if you want long term just make sure they like you for you and are not fetishist.
Do you know that when people look at you they cannot guess your weight
There’s literally hundreds of amateur subs on this site dedicated to every conceivable type of female body type. And they’re all full of dudes and some chicks absolutely losing their shit over those gorgeous naked women.
You’ll be fine. Just make sure your pics online accurately represent how you look.
I understand also struggled with it. As long as ur honest in ur pics they know what u look like and they r attracted to u so remember that
I’m 280 and I’ve been 280 for a few years. I get hella dick. I mean top notch dick. Usually by guys who are in good shape as well. A few chubby guys tho too. I’ve always been insecure about my body. But I promise you, it’s all in your head. Definitely be up front about it tho if you’re going the online route. Let it be known you’re plus size. Ask them if they are okay with that. And if they aren’t, move on. There’s so many men out there who love bigger girls. And believe it or not, there’s so many out there who don’t give a shit what size you are. They wanna know you! Your personality. Not your size.
All in all, be confident. You got this!
Fat woman here who used dating apps before and has have a few casual relationships. One thing that really helped me was just own up to the weight. I had my weight in my profile. I’ve used full body pics and even the most unflattering pics of myself. As fat women, we tend to know our angles when we take selfies, so I’ve always picked my mediocre selfies haha.
Bit of a warning though, & this isn’t most guys, but some guys out there automatically assume bigger women are easy, which is not the case at all!
Still remember to respect yourself and your boundaries through this journey. I wish you all the best!!
I’m a chonky lady, and I had no problem getting laid during my casual phase a decade ago. Some dudes were dicks, yeah, but most knew what they were getting into and didn’t care (especially if you are happy to have equally chonky dudes).
At the end of the day, most people are just happy to have someone else to squish their bits together with.
Don’t get in a relationship with anyone who thinks you’re less than gorgeous as you are though. Nine and a half years down the drain for me!
When I meet, I never look at weight and shape. If a smile and a look turn me on, then we will have amazing sex)
I know I’m not alone. I like a pretty face and a good laugh. I don’t care about size. There are many many many men like me.
If you want to get laid, flirt. You never know where it will lead.
Ps, I’ve got a dad bod and likely the best mustache on earth. I’ll be waiting for you to hit on me in the grocery store.
I’m bigger than you and have never had a problem. For me, I had to get out of my own head and stop beating myself up for having a body. Instead I choose to embody confidence and the knowledge that I am hot/sexy/etc and am a great lay, and if they don’t like it…well, their loss and I am on to the next. It’s never failed me and I pull who and what I want when I want. It sounds like the issue for you isn’t your weight but really what you think of yourself…you can lose all the weight you want, but that won’t change the inside of your head or make you feel attractive. Do the inside work first.
If you’re worried about going on a date and a guy not liking you because of your size. Make sure to include a picture that realistically depicts your size and that WILL NOT be a problem.
You might get fewer matches but at least those matches will be genuine.
Work on what you want for yourself, for yourself and don’t worry what people think of you. Don’t hide yourself in pictures that you think people want to see. If you want sex and you want to enjoy sex… I’ll just say there isn’t much out there sexier than openness about the pleasures and joys of sex. Have fun!
First and foremost, it’s important to understand that your value and attractiveness are not solely tied to your physical appearance. Confidence and self-esteem play significant roles in our perception of ourselves and how others perceive us. Here are a few steps you might consider:
Work on Self-Acceptance: It’s crucial to accept yourself as you are. You’re a work in progress, like everyone else. You’re already working on your weight, which is great, but you also need to work on accepting and loving your body as it is now. It’s your body and it’s beautiful. Plus-sized people are attractive to many people.
Be Transparent: If you’re using online dating platforms, make sure you’re being honest and transparent about your body type from the start. This can help set expectations and reduce anxiety. You might also want to consider using plus-sized friendly dating apps or websites, where you can connect with people who are specifically attracted to plus-sized individuals.
Communicate Openly: If you’re nervous about meeting someone, it’s perfectly okay to express your feelings. If they’re genuinely interested in you, they should be understanding and supportive.
Build Confidence: This can take time, but consider looking into things like therapy, self-help books, or confidence-building exercises. There are also many online communities that provide support and advice for plus-sized women.
Consider Casual Relationships: If you’re not ready for a committed relationship, but want to explore your sexuality, there’s no harm in seeking casual relationships or friendships with benefits. Again, honesty and communication are key here. Make sure your intentions are clear and mutual.
Remember, it’s okay to have needs and wants. Your desire for physical intimacy is completely normal and valid, and there’s someone out there who will appreciate you just as you are. Take your time, trust your instincts, and make the decisions that feel right for you.
This is what tinder is for! Just don’t make yourself look skinny on your profile. Plenty of guys like plus sized women and if you’re honest on your profile you’ll end up weeding out the ones who don’t.
This is a mental block.
I would be down for casual hook up fwb with someone your weight. I like bigger girls myself and plenty of guys are into it.
Don’t catfish. Include full body picture in your profile, and you won’t have any issues, plenty of men like bigger women.
I have always been a bigger girl. For years I was programed to think that guys thought fat girls were disgusting and they were not interested . I’m cute and fun. Just like you I could be fun and flirty all evening but later on when it was time for the naughty stuff I’d split. I would end up spending the night with my vibrator.
That all changed when I met a guy who taught me that men ,all men found me attractive. He pointed out that that those guys know what we look like under our clothes and they want it. Guys want more than a bj from us……they want it all.
I’m sure there are many people online that would love to help assist, not to mention a lot love plus size girls! So will have no issues and don’t be shy it’s a natural thing.
You are your own worst enemy. If you want to fuck It’ll happen. My gf is a + size with a “come on I want to fuck” attitude. Guy’s can sense this, the mental attraction is powerful. You’re beautiful and you know it.
Being plus size isn’t the issue. Your confidence is. I’m not saying that to be mean or harsh, but rather to try to inspire you to do some inner work to heal whatever inside of you makes you think you’re not good enough. Put honest photos on your profile and let them decide if they’re into your body type or not. It’s not your job to tell them they’re wrong when they say they like you. Plus, what does it matter? You’re looking for no strings attached so if you don’t click with one… move on to another.
Just stop thinking there is something wrong with yourself in some unique way. Everyone even skinny people have insecurities. Even skinny people make terrible partners. Even skinny people have a range of attractions. And we can say on the other side, even bi people can be confident, even big people make great partners, even big people are dynamic as well. I’m plus sized but with a very fit partner. Sure I would like to lose a bit of weight but I’m still worthy of love now. Any man who is too superficial is probably on tinder because they’re an ass to everyone and just not a good partner material anyway. Just keep in mind that you are valuable too.
I personally like plus size girl. Be happy with your body.
And i love to hookup with plus size girls
girl Im the same size and trust me when I say there is an abundance of people down to clown. I went from 280 to 230 now and trust me when I say, there’s been no change whatsoever in the flow of men who have pursued me, I had just as much then as now. There’s plenty of people who find big women hot, when I say plenty I mean I’ve had men of all lengths, widths etc in the back of my car. Never let your weight hold you back from doing what YOU want.