Imagine you’re on a date with someone you’re interested in. The date is going well, the conversation is light and fun. What can make you want to leave and never talk to her again?

I can’t seem to understand men, so I’m just looking for some insight into how your minds work…

33 comments

  1. If it’s among the first few dates, talking about an ex. No guy wants to hear about that. Also if she’s on her phone.

  3. Starting to talk about all the things that might happen in the future as if you are already in a relationship. I’ve never done this, I’ve had it done to me (I’m 43F) and some of the guys I know have experienced this with women.

    Mentioning emotional baggage, healing, life lessons, past trauma, etc. I was guilty of this when I was younger. I had a guy flat out tell me “why would you tell me these things?” This was nearly 15 years ago and stopped me in my tracks.

    Bringing up exes and past relationships. Guilty of this as well. I’ve stopped doing this even if the guy brings up their ex. I now take it as a red flag, especially if it happens more than once.

  4. One girl tried to convince me astrology is real and then read my palm 🌴 later. Not sure about the losing interest part, I just assumed she’s an idiot.

  5. It’s usually not a big thing, it’s more lots of little things: like if I feel like I’m doing a lot of the conversion and asking and she is not, or I feel there was too many awkward silences and there was a struggle to fill space, or there isn’t really any spark and it feels like we are just friends (yeah this is the most vague and not easily defined one but happens to me a lot i feel)

  8. if they eat loudly/messy, are rude to the staffs, litter, dislike animals/nature, constantly rant about the negative things in their lives on the first date

  10. If she talks about her exs non stop. Especially if she’s humble- bragging about how much money they have and all the awesome things he did for her and the great places he took her.
    If he is that great why isn’t she still with him?
    Why is she on a date with me?

  11. If a woman shows or gives the impression that she likes expensive stuff/restaurants all the time.Also judge based on clothes,things you have . Infulencers and media has ruined dating .What I’m trying to say if she talks about money.if she doesn’t mind cheaper things and appreciates them, then that’s a turn-on

  12. Something that REALLY bothers me is having your phone around.
    I’ll just assume you’re not really interested in me.

    Also not asking me questions, letting me be the only one carrying the conversation.

    These I think are the most annoying things you could do

  13. When they check their phone throughout the date. Nothing will kill my interest faster. I’ve had women do this mid-conversation on dates…

    If you want to take out your phone to look up something we’re talking about or to show me a photo of something or whatever then that’s totally fine. But looking at your phone and even answering texts while we’re talking is just such bad manners.

  14. Being on their phone. Talking about their ex. Being rude to waitstaff. Only talking about herself and not asking any questions.

  15. Ones that don’t seem interested. Nothing is more boring than a girl who doesn’t seem excited about being there. There will always be an awkward moment or a bit of silence for the first 5 mins, but once that is done, I want someone who seems as interested as I am. I come with questions and then cater topics towards the answers!

  16. Reading through this thread it seems like most of the things that turn off men are similar to what might turn off a woman.

    I don’t think things need to be super complicated.Think of things that you wouldn’t like.

  17. Not a dude, but in conversations with my guy friends, the common things are

    -being late and not communicating that beforehand

    -being rude to the service staff

    -not offering to pay, even if he’s planning on paying the entire bill

    -not looking like their profile pictures (either heavily filtered photos or old photos)

    -giving single word responses and/or not asking open ended questions that help conversational flow

    -complaining the entire time (about an ex, about work, about life)

    -monologuing about yourself and not letting them talk about anything else

    -being on your phone the whole time

    -talking about how shitty all of your exes are, or discussing your ex unprompted

    -showing up drunk and/or high

    -getting excessively intoxicated during the date to where they basically have to babysit you

  18. Girl at my last date started calling other ethnicity “apes”/”orks”.

  19. Asking for insight to my gender is the same as asking for insight into yours lol. We don’t know what we are thinking, we are idiots 99% of the time. I will make you a deal, if you can tell me what women are thinking – I will tell you what men are thinking

  20. I know you said the conversation is might and fun but I recently went on a date and the girl sat complaining about the mother of a child she babysits for 15 minutes I barely got a word in I felt like I was listening to a speech. So I would lose interest if they didn’t bother asking me what I thought or letting me talk

  21. Complaining about things but with no real solution to the issues. Complaining is fine but how are you going to fix it?

  23. I’m a girl but I suggest being engaged in the date and asking questions, keep some things to yourself in order to remain a bit mysterious and don’t go into too much detail about your feelings towards them. Also, offer to split the bill.

  24. This happened and I mentally checked out from ever having interest in her ever again. TLDR: don’t talk shit about people you don’t know that give you literally no reason to.

    Double date with one of my good friends and his fiancée and his fiancé’s close friend we will call her S.

    So it’s going normally, chit chatting etc put in our orders and stuff.

    There was this group of young people at a larger table so like 8-10 could have been teenagers and they had similar shirts on like a group of volunteers/mathletes/ chess club or something like that.

    The woman S looks back at them and then starts talking shit about them, judging their clothes, their appearance, the way they talk, all superficial bullshit things. And I check out mentally right? Then S keeps going and going on and on… I’m like, “Yo S can you stop?” She was like, “what?” Then I go “I said can you stop talking shit about people that you don’t know? You don’t even know them, for all you know they could be really nice and your just being mean for no reason.” She had that oh shit look on her face combined with processing someone calling her out. Our table was quiet then until the food arrived. I didn’t even look at S in the face rest of the evening. When we were done eating and went to the parking lot I was like, “I’ll see you two later.” To my friend and his fiancée. I just ignored S for that evening and night.

    Days later hung out with friend and his fiancée. His fiancée was trying to get info on how I felt about S and that S was really sorry about it. I was just exhausted with S bullshit immaturity.

  25. Be a b@tch, lol. No, seriously, I had a recent date with a woman who was a loud mouth, and couldn’t handle her liquor.She got a little bit (verbally) combative, so I had to leave.

  26. She doesn’t put in effort. (Expects to be chased but doesn’t give you a reason to). She doesn’t at least pretend to reach for the cheque. She suggests a dinner date. (You’re saved as “free meals” in her phone) Talks about herself ONLY. (Narcissist). She’s a misandrist. (If you’re saying “all men…”Guys never…” You’re probably a misandrist. Women being sexist is rarely called out, so many have no idea they are) She shits on your hobbies (obviously, there’s a difference between playfully & maliciously) She’s a RACIST (Same as sexist) She has princess vibes🤮 (No one wants to “take care” of you) COMPLAINS. (OMG)

  27. I had a first date a few weeks ago that was, within maybe 5-10 minutes, a clear last date for me. She was really cute and we had a few shared interests, but she was painfully disinterested in anything outside of what she wanted to talk about at a given moment and made no attempts to hide it. For reference, we’re both musicians in different genres, and I asked her about her favorite things to play which she absolutely lit up about and never asked me about mine. Then I asked her about a story prompt from her profile; again, she cracked herself up recalling it, didn’t offer any kind of follow-up. I mentioned “oh, I’ve absolutely got a similar story about [xyz] if you’d like to hear it” and she said “oh that’s alright.”

    It was disappointing, but definitely not the first time something like that has happened. It’s a notable distinction though. I’m willing to do some extra conversational lifting on a first date – maybe she’s shy or tired or genuinely not a big talker, and I can respect that. But at some point, if you’re not even going to fake interest even for the sake of taking pressure off of a moment, then I’m not exactly going to be scrambling to ask for a second date.

  28. Not a man. But girl if you’re talking the first date..you’re really overthinking this.

    Have you not yourself just not been into someone even if the convo is good? They may not feel the connection. Maybe not romantic chemistry. Or maybe, if y’all met on an app, they just aren’t physically attracted to you in person.

  29. I think sometimes guys vanish if they just don’t feel chemistry; it doesn’t mean the woman did anything wrong. However, there’s a short list of things people do that could make the other participant in a date not want to call again, and here’s a short list: dumping their trauma all over you (especially if it’s a first date), crying, talking incessantly about an ex, talking incessantly about themselves, never asking any questions, not listening, drinking too much, checking their phone repeatedly, being rude to wait staff or other people, saying something racist, etc. You get the idea.

  30. Talking too much about your ex. Good bad. I dont mind knowing the basic reason why yall broke up. But i really dont need to hear the story.

    It shows me “your hung up on them”
    “Your still in that detached self preservation no investment”
    Or. It tells me that your still in the angry phase and im not gonna let myself be clawed for it.

    This is the here n now deal. I have exes too. We broke up. It was for the best. Shes happier. Im happier. Lets move on.

  32. here are some for me

    1. treat like an interview, where they just answer questions
    2. don’t bother to get to know me/ask anything about me.
    3. looking at their phone throughout the date.
    4. completely show no interest
    5. come off as arrogant or cocky. sometimes its not the words you say that make me lose interest, but the way you say it

  33. For me, if someone is rude to wait staff or any type of service staff, it’s an immediate red flag. Also talking down to people or making fun of people in a malicious way. Those are a dealbreaker for me.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like