So a little while ago my wife and I got into an argument and I hopped on her phone to make sure she wasn’t talking shit about me to her mother ( sometimes she likes to take our business elsewhere and I hate to include outside people…. It’s just more drama and looks bad) so when I went to get her phone she found me and snatched it out of my hands and said that wasn’t okay. I asked why because she has never been like that with her phone before, we have both always been very open about it. It’s raised suspicion but I wasn’t gonna get too crazy about it.
She is going on a trip to Texas to sell our home and me being paranoid asked if she was talking to someone on Snapchat and she said of course not and that she wouldn’t do something like that and she is hurt I would accuse her of such a thing. After that I stopped trying to check for a while.
Today was different…. I was really letting my anxiety get the best of me and managed to get her phone while she went outside. I had barley any time at all but I did see that there was a guys name on her snap and she was left on read 3 days ago. I don’t know this man. Never heard of him. I asked a few days ago if she was still in contact with any guy friends and she said no and that she doesn’t even really use Snapchat anymore.
Tonight really sold it for me and increased my suspicion. I layed down in bed next to her while she was dead asleep. My hand rested next to her and she groggily woke up a bit and immediately looked for her phone. She found it and checked the homes screen then cuddled it. Like…. Why is ur first instinct to find your phone mid sleep?
Things aren’t adding up and I’m losing my mind. I’m trying not to jump to conclusions and not trying to offend her but I feel like something is up. What do u guys think?
3 comments
I would think something was up too, if my spouse acted that way with their phone. Being defensive, and needing to keep their phone with them at all times is a classic sign of something going on that they know is wrong. Also, lying about not using Snapchat anymore is a red flag. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Has there been any cheating in the past?
I don’t know if she’s cheating but she definitely does want you know what she’s doing. I don’t know what to tell you. We don’t have any secrets so there’s nothing to hide.
First, I think it’s fucked up that you get annoyed with her talking shit about you with her own mother. Let her have her safe space to vent… you’re telling a bunch of internet strangers about your wife, after all. Don’t be a hypocrite.
Secondly, you grabbing her phone is a huge privacy violation. That’s obviously bad. She certainly can be pissed about you violating her privacy. The fact that you seem like you keep trying to do it suggests you don’t respect her privacy in general.
Thirdly… yeah, it’s suspicious as hell she’s chatting with another man and then lying about it. I don’t know enough about you or her to say she’s gotten past the texting stage. If it’s just romantic texting/sexting, I think the situation is quite salvageable. Talk with her. Calmly. Your best defense against an affair is to make your own relationship with her strong.
Try to repair the damage here because, in the process of you telling us a red flag about her, you’ve given up two big red flags about you.