Was dating this girl I liked. It was going along great. But then after the 4th date, she did not want to see me anymore. Told me our personalities didn’t jive and didn’t feel a connection.
I understand that we just did not fit but did I fail in that relationship ? It was going well to be honest but turned out she did not like me. Maybe it was something I said or did. I don’t really know. Let’s set aside the possibility that she found another guy or what.
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This can happen for many different reasons, and it can cause us to become really introspective where we question ourselves and doubt what we should/shouldn’t have done, but regardless of the reasons behind it, don’t let it bring you back.
This just wasn’t the one.
It’s helpful not to think of this as “success” or “failure.” That makes it too easy to frame dating as a game, where if you do and say the right things at the right times, you’ll get the outcome you want. Cannons will blast confetti, and triumphant music will play in the background while you lean your new-found girlfriend back and kiss her like in the movies.
And… that’s just not how it works.
Sometimes, it’s just not as good of a match as you thought. The two of you just aren’t quite aligned romantically. And that’s okay. Sometimes you’ll even be on the other side of that dynamic. That’s also okay.
I’m a guy and when I go on dates with girls I give them 100% of my attention so it may seem like our chemistry is 100% working.
And I think when we reflect on the conversations in the past, we end up identifying certain things that we don’t think jive with what we want.
It always will come across as a surprise because it’s not something that’s addressed in the moment and nobody wants to actually emotionally hurt anybody. Some get ghosted and some get told at a later date.
I think a good sign things will work out is if you have a lot of things in common and you talk about them.