My bf and I met on our city’s sub. He recommended my favourite food truck to someone and I left a comment saying something along the lines of, you shouldn’t tell people about it, they’ll get too popular and jack up their prices (they did eventually, but shut down due to covid).
He sent me a message saying that it seemed like we had a lot in common. I looked at his profile, and we really did. It was uncanny. we chatted for a while and decided to meet in person. That was four years ago and we have been together ever since.
I stopped using my old reddit account account after we got together because I like my reddit to be private. He never mentioned it and I never brought it up.
For the last six months I had been talking to a guy I met on reddit. I am not proud of this but our conversations started getting slightly flirty but never really crossed the line till a couple of days ago. He sent me a picture of his dick and I almost instantly recognised it. I asked for a face picture and sure enough, it was my boyfriend.
While we were chatting, he had said he was single but I always maintained that I had a boyfriend. I am not sure how to feel about this.
I told my sister (f33), who thinks this is hilarious and says that I should take it as a sign that we’re meant to be. I just can’t help but think that this is not the way it should be and that our relationship obviously has some fundamental issues if we both feel the need to look outside of it. He still doesn’t know that I know. I am so confused and I have no idea where to go from here.
The way I see it is that i have three options. First, I could keep the chat going and see how far he takes it before confronting him; second, I could tell him it was me and laugh about it or third, I could tell him and suggest couple’s counselling. I am not sure if this even counts as cheating. Any advice on how I should move forward from here would be much appreciated.
28 comments
Do you like piña coladas? Maybe… getting caught in the rain?
Lmao. You both share the same “values” or in your case, lack thereof. You deserve each other. I’m with your sister on this.
Id suggest sending him nudes too but no face, and just like that the ball is in his court. His reaction could clue you in.
If you are writing a wattpad story id recommend going with “he discovered your new reddit and was messing with you”
Jesus, this is exactly like the Pina Colada song only with a dick pic. It’s up to you how to proceed, but remember, you’re not exactly innocent either. It’s like the pot calling the kettle black. Lol I love irony 🤣.
Uff, there is another option: maybe he knows it’s you and he wants to know where are you willing to go.
Anyway, I would come clean and have honest discussion about your relationship. It’s not good sign that you both are searching for something outside and then you will go from there. Maybe it is fate to see that you both aren’t that happy or that you both forget to have a connection in real life.
I would send him my pic as the way to reveal myself and I would let him have time to think about it. Cool down and then have the TALK.
He cheated. So did you but for the sake of argument let’s focus on him. Pretend that account he’s chatting with is not you, because he certainly thinks it’s someone else. Are you okay with your boyfriend sexting other women, sending dick pics and possibly getting so horny during that he gets himself off to this other woman? And how far would he take it, would he meet up with her the way he met you off of reddit and then possibly sleep with her? I personally wouldn’t accept cheating in any way.
You both need counselling. Good call
I cannot fathom how a single person believes this is a real story
You should come forward and just tell him. Both of you dont value the relationship as y’all are both looking for validation outside of it.
personally i still think this is cheating cos in principle both of you are still looking to emotionally cheat with other people.
just curious what kind of problem do you guys have to make both of you end up doing this?
well you were both cheating, so you’re not innocent.
I would normally say this relationship is over,
however
I think you two are probably a lot more alike than you care to admit, and both enjoy cheating.
You might be meant to be, but you both have caused trust issues. How is he supposed to trust that you won’t go outside of the relationship again, snd you trusting him not to send his junk around?
If you were super ashamed you would have stopped. If you two are going to work all of this shit has to stop.
Outside of the – your sister is probably right.
It’s like that episode of Family guy:
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Call_Girl_(Family_Guy)
Cute story, the addition of the sister was a nice touch. On the next version I suggest you mention a pair of broken arms, or a dead-bedroom. Gotta keep those cliches going if you wanna be a top-tier “influencer”.
I think you should take it as you’re both in need of something to get your heart racing but together.
You should initially keep what you did to yourself. In your sidepiece account, say you met someone and are no longer interested but you wish him the best.
Then plan a date where you can have a heart to heart. Ask him if he’s actually happy, or just faking it. If you want to tell him, tell him exactly how you laid it out here. He’ll be both ashamed and also realize that the person he’s with is someone he likes.
Then ask each other what’s missing and make a change to your routine. There’s really no use in sticking to a relationship that isn’t bringing you joy. But you can’t get to the joy if you have feelings you’re keeping to yourself.
Swing instead and be together? You don’t want to leave each other but want something casual too. It seems like the easy answer. Unless he’s looking for someone else and planning to dump you. Or that’s your plan…. You should probably talk to him
I’m unclear. Does he not know he’s your boyfriend?
Is this like casual dating?
Cause sending pictures of your dick seems pretty classless and stupid behavior, but I guess you asked or have no problem with it, but… if you’re in a committed relationship… yeah, that seems like cheating.
If you guys need a reason to commit, and haven’t, then sure I guess you belong together. If you’ve already done that, then I’d wonder how many other people have enjoyed pictures of his memorable dick or will in the future.
I can’t tell if this is a modern spin on Escape by Rupert Holmes…
But don’t wait to see how far he takes it, tell him immediately and be upfront. You both did something wrong, him more so, but still. Go to couple’s counseling because there are clearly issues, but at the same time it’s evident you both really like each other. Issues in the relationship may have gotten in the way of that, and they need to be talked through. You guys might not be able to and eventually break up, but the attraction on a deeper level is there. It probably sucks in a lot of ways, but could be a fortunate situation in the end.
Option 3. It’s going to be awkward, but good luck.
Both are terrible people, match made in heaven🤑
Not to make light of the situation…But if you like pina coladas, taking walks in the rain….
I would tell him and ask him what is up.
Errrr… YOUR SISTER IS OBLIVIOUS…. THIS IS NOT A SIGN YOU ARE MEANT TO BE… but that he is a cheating AH!
He deliberately made the first move by cheating on you by sending you a pic of his ***k….. it’s gross….. he has probably don’t this with other women by now..
Don’t be an idiot… NONE OF THE 3 options work… dump him as you deserve better!
If you like making love at midnight 🎶 and getting caught in the rain 🎵
People still send dickpics?
Send him nudes with no face and see if he recognizes you. That’s how you know he pays attention to your body
This is hilarious if even a bit of this story is true. I’m going to bite, because I liked it. You’re both as guilty as each other, so just tell him and have a laugh about it for a bit. Then talk to each other about why you both seemed to look outside of the relationship for attention and validation. Then go from there. Couples counselling is a good idea.
I mean… this is definitely cheating in a weird way because what if he’s been talking to other girls all along too? This is truly bizarre though
Tell him.
I guess send him a picture of yourself, see if he recognizes you, i don’t think you can really “confront” him since you (to answer the other question) are also cheating. I’m for monogamy personally but you could open your relationship since this has been going on for awhile, and when you found out you didn’t instantly break up with him.