I’m always the one who gets excluded from groups

Since Highschool I’ve always been the one to get outcasted from a group. I’m never put in the group chats and everyone gets closer to eachother and I always get left out. This again happened in college where I had friends but it seems like I was never good enough to be included in their groupchats.

I even went on vacation with one of them this past summer prior to going to grad school. This whole group from college all made it into the same grad school so I thought it would be great and we would make great memories. I ended up being excluded again when they had their own group and added new people to it. For 2 months I was never invited to study with them, but I’m always good enough to at least talk in the hallway and crack jokes and whatnot. I confronted them after two months, they apologized, didn’t have an explanation for why they excluded me and said they felt bad.

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I felt awkward going into this new group now as I considered any invitation to just be a pity invite. They’ve gotten better at talking but still feel excluded. Today was my birthday, none of these so called friends wished me. I’m sick and tired of this. This has fucked me up so mentally and I’m starting to think maybe I’m just the problem.